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Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v.22

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v. 22
Nowadays, many people prefer to live in cities, which leads to the rapid growth of population in urban areas. This essay will discuss about two major problems caused by this situation and required measures to control these serious issues. First and foremost, overpopulation in major big cities leads to a shortage of natural resources such as water and other significant needs. This means that as the large number of population dwelling in cities and towns indicates that heavy usage of water, which is an essential part of the daily needs. Consequently, dwellers who are staying in that region have to face water scarcity rather than any other concerns. One effective solution to tackle this issue is that government should implement certain rules and regulations on water usage and manage to limit the utilization to necessary gallons only. This should definitely help them to relieve from this trouble. Another dilemma experiencing by people is that traffic congestion in crowded streets as well as city centres. Because of hectic schedules and office works to the urban people, they are commuting to and from their home either by car or motorbike, which results in the formation of heavy traffic in popular areas. Furthermore, these utilization of private vehicles also releasing harmful gases like carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide, which are critically damaging the city environment. This could only solve by using public transport by individuals, who have a responsibility to save their nature. As a result, there are no interruptions to the passengers while travelling from their office to destination. To conclude, these ever growing population in predominant cities has major impact on the city life. However, with the right action by individuals and government, it could be easy to make better lifestyle.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, which leads to the rapid growth of population in urban areas. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss two"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about two
major problems caused by this situation and required measures to control these serious issues.

First
and foremost, overpopulation in major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
leads to a shortage of natural resources such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and other significant needs. This means that as the large number of population dwelling in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and towns indicates that heavy usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, which is an essential part of the daily needs.
Consequently
, dwellers who are staying in that region
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
scarcity
rather
than any other concerns. One effective solution to tackle this issue is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should implement certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
usage and manage to limit the utilization to necessary gallons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. This should definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to relieve from this trouble.

Another dilemma experiencing by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
that traffic congestion in crowded streets
as well
as city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of hectic schedules and office works to the urban
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, they are commuting to and from their home either by car or motorbike, which results in the formation of heavy traffic in popular areas.
Furthermore
,
Did you mean "this utilization" or "these utilizations"?
these utilization
of private vehicles
also
releasing harmful gases like carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide, which are
critically
damaging the city environment. This could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solve by using public transport by individuals, who have a responsibility to save their nature.
As a result
, there are no interruptions to the passengers while travelling from their office to destination.

To conclude
, these ever growing population in predominant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has major impact on the city life.
However
, with the right action by individuals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, it could be easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better lifestyle.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems. v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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