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Over the past few decades, computer games have become more prevalent in the children's world.

Over the past few decades, computer games have become more prevalent in the children's world. EdVWR
Certain individuals believe that engaging the exercises performed outside a more advantageous for the kids than computer games. I totally agree with this idea and intend to expound my perspective in this essay. A plethora of pros can be obtained for the children through playing outside. First and foremost, kids should do various physical moments to perform well in these sports where as it spontaneously stimulates the growth of bones and muscles of their limbs. For instance, recent studies have revealed that exercises of crucial for strengthening the physical fitness of growing kids. Secondly, outdoor games which involve burning calories may support to alleviate the non-communicable diseases. For example, recent newspaper publication disclosed that the rate of obesity and diabetes among youngsters have been increased over the past few years due to lack of physical exercises. Furthermore, while kids are playing in the natural environment their body tend to develop the immunity which is considered as a pivotal aspect for a healthy child. The positive impacts which gained by a kid to enhance their psychological development through outdoor sports are undeniable. As most of these games are played together with other members, a child learns the corporation, leadership, patience and other required soft skills which are mandatory for a strong personality. Also these activities provide the opportunity for children to realise the valuability of their surrounding where as they eventually tend to appreciate the significance of sunlight, plants and unpolluted air. To conclude, I thoroughly agree with the idea of receiving more benefits through outdoor activities and I reckon that adults should take the responsibility of motivating their children to participate these activities and sports which can be performed outside rather than playing computer games by gluing to the screen.
Certain individuals believe that engaging the exercises performed outside a more advantageous for the
kids
than computer
games
. I
totally
agree
with this
idea
and intend to expound my perspective in this essay.

A plethora of pros can
be obtained
for the children through playing outside.
First
and foremost,
kids
should do various physical moments to perform well in these sports
where as
it
spontaneously
stimulates the growth of bones and muscles of their limbs.
For instance
, recent studies have revealed that exercises of crucial for strengthening the physical fitness of growing
kids
.
Secondly
, outdoor
games
which involve burning calories may support to alleviate the non-communicable diseases.
For example
, recent newspaper publication disclosed that the rate of obesity and diabetes among youngsters have
been increased
over the past few years due to lack of physical exercises.
Furthermore
, while
kids
are playing in the natural environment their body tend to develop the immunity which
is considered
as a pivotal aspect for a healthy child.

The
positive
impacts which gained by a
kid
to enhance their psychological development through outdoor sports are undeniable. As most of these
games
are played
together with other members, a child learns the corporation, leadership, patience and other required soft
skills
which are mandatory for a strong personality.
Also
these activities provide the opportunity for children to
realise
the
valuability
of their surrounding
where as
they
eventually
tend to appreciate the significance of sunlight, plants and unpolluted air.

To conclude
, I
thoroughly
agree
with the
idea
of receiving more benefits through outdoor activities and I reckon that adults should take the responsibility of motivating their children to participate these activities and sports which can
be performed
outside
rather
than playing computer
games
by gluing to the screen.
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IELTS essay Over the past few decades, computer games have become more prevalent in the children's world.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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