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Over the last half century, the number of those who prefer cars to public transport is increasing every year.

Over the last half century, the number of those who prefer cars to public transport is increasing every year. yXnYE
Over the last half century,  the number of those who prefer cars to public transport is increasing every year. This fact leads to various social and environmental problems. Firstly, the increase in the number of cars on the road leads to the collapse of the road globally. For example, in Moscow there are more cases when the city is left without traffic for the whole day due to traffic jams. Traffic jams, in turn, can lead to even more serious consequences. For example, due to traffic congestion, emergency services cannot reach the designated place. Thus, due to the increase in the number of cars, a large number of lives may be at a risk, which depend on traffic on the road. Another negative consequence of this fact is global environmental pollution, which can accelerate the negative processes of global warming for all human beings. For example, scientists from Norway recently found that road transport is one of the main causes of glacier melting. On the other hand, this problem can be solved at the state level. In order to save hundreds of lives in the future, as well as save millions of people from transportation problems, it is necessary to limit the number of new drivers. In addition, it is also necessary to improve the quality of roads and logically think over all transport junctions in order to improve the direction of traffic in the most congested places. In conclusion, the car is the most comfortable means of transportation. Considering this fact, as well as the colossal increase in cars every year, the problem connected with the large number of cars and traffic problems cannot disappear by itself. However, despite the fact that this problem is global in nature, its solution can be found at the local level of each country. It is necessary to carefully consider the state policy in the field of public traffic and take all reasonable measures to improve the situation on the roads.
Over the last half century,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of those who prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
to public transport is increasing every year. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
leads to various social and environmental problems.

Firstly
, the increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
leads to the collapse of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
globally.
For example
, in Moscow there are more cases when the city is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
for the whole day due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traffic
jams, in turn, can lead to even more serious consequences.
For example
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion, emergency services cannot reach the designated place.
Thus
, due to the increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
may be at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
, which depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequence of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
is global environmental pollution, which can accelerate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
processes of global warming for all human beings.
For example
, scientists from Norway recently found that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
transport is one of the main causes of glacier melting.

On the other hand
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be solved
at the state level. In order to save hundreds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the future,
as well
as
The word "save" is a verb. Did you mean the adjective "safe"?
save
millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, it is necessary to limit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of new drivers.
In addition
, it is
also
necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and
logically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
over all transport junctions in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the direction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
in the most congested places.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is the most comfortable means of transportation. Considering this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
,
as well
as the colossal increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
every year, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
connected with the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
cannot disappear by itself.
However
, despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is global in nature, its solution can
be found
at the local level of each country. It is necessary to
carefully
consider the state policy in the field of public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and take all reasonable measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
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IELTS essay Over the last half century, the number of those who prefer cars to public transport is increasing every year.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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