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Over the last few decades, the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. What problems has this caused? What solutions can you suggest this issue?

Over the last few decades, the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. What problems has this caused? What solutions can you suggest this issue? jmPX
The ideal women should be lean which is promoted by media. The major problem caused by this trend would be the fat women find uncertainty in their future. The main responsibility of media to solve this issue by promoting strong women rather than biased with appearance. To begin with, there are variety of issues arise when media people advertise that the lean skinny women is perfect. Firstly, women start decreased the intake of food. Likewise, that habit effects the nutrition level of the body and end up having deficiency. In other words, the overall health would be disturbed and diseases like anaemia come across very frequently. Whereas, this problem can wisely handle by restricting the media by not showing skinny women as this have dangerous effects on other female audience. This prohibition in media would not encourage females to consume less amount of food. Hence, there will be less chances of lack of vitamins and minerals. As a result, women can live healthy life without worrying about physical appearance. The second major problem appear in fat women by watching thin lady in news. (Firstly, lean women related news majorly impact on overweight women. ) Such type of news makes fat ladies insecure about individual work as well as personal life. Besides, one can find difficulty in searching work and assume that no one would accept them as they are not an ideal for anything. However, this problem can be solved by incorporating media by not advertising women appearance wise but by the inner ability wise. In addition, the advert should have content of women who have fighter and never give up attitude. Hence, one can handle any situation in personal and professional life. For example, according to a survey conducted by Times of India, the media promote women who have strong inner skill rather than outer appearance, the viewers will get encouragement in their life and try to improve skills. In conclusion, the promotion regarding skinny women effects mainly obese females as it would be insecurity of future because there will be less acceptance. This problem can solve by media by not showing women who are thin instead display strong women.
The ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should be lean which
is promoted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. The major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
caused by this trend would be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
find uncertainty in their future.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
main responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to solve this issue by promoting strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
rather
than biased with appearance.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are variety of issues arise when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advertise that the lean skinny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is perfect.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
decreased the intake of food.
Likewise
, that habit effects the nutrition level of the body and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up having deficiency.
In other words
, the
overall
health would
be disturbed
and diseases like
Possible spelling mistake found.
anaemia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
frequently
. Whereas, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
wisely
handle by restricting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
by not showing skinny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
as this have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
effects on other female audience. This prohibition in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
would not encourage females to consume less amount of food.
Hence
, there will be
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun chances is countable.
less
chances of lack of vitamins and minerals.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without worrying about physical appearance.

The second major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
appear in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
by watching thin lady in news. (
Firstly
, lean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
related news
majorly
impact on overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
Loose punctuation mark.
)
Such type of news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
ladies insecure about individual work
as well
as personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Besides
, one can find difficulty in searching work and assume that no one would accept them as they are not an ideal for anything.
However
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be solved
by incorporating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
by not advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
appearance wise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by the inner ability wise.
In addition
, the advert should have content of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who have fighter and never give up attitude.
Hence
, one can handle any situation in personal and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, according to a survey conducted by Times of India, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who have strong inner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
rather
than outer appearance, the viewers will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
encouragement in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, the promotion regarding skinny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
effects
mainly
obese females as it would be insecurity of future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there will be less acceptance. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can solve by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
by not showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who are thin
instead
display strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
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IELTS essay Over the last few decades, the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. What problems has this caused? What solutions can you suggest this issue?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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