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Many people thing that fast food companies should not be allowed to advertise while others believed that all companies should have the right to advertise. What is your opinion?

Many people thing that fast food companies should not be allowed to advertise while others believed that all companies should have the right to advertise. What is your opinion? arww
The junk food production company should not make any advertisement that is belief of some people while the others have a view that firm should have an absolute right to make the advertisement. Advertising is one of the main reason for people become allure and victim of outrageous disease. However, the company can make profit by making aware to advertise the item. On one hand, there are many reasons of the fast food company should have prohibition of advertisement. Firstly, the frequent promotional activity of junk food on media is one of the way to attract the consumers. In other words, the people from every age become captivated towards it and the food is consumed very often by individual. As a result, the excessive amount of such food make obese and diabetic. Since the food is high in calorie and rich in sugar. For example, according to the survey of Times of India, the 70% citizen from USA suffering from obesity after watching Mac D’onalds advertisement in TV in 2015. On the other hand, every company have a right to advertise the product or service. The business have a ultimate goal is to make higher profit as invested large amount of capital. Thus, promotional activity make consumer aware about the items which the firm are selling. If the company become restrict for its commercial then it would be hard to attract the buyers and it would automatically affect the growth of business. Hence, the promotion of fast food is necessary for profit as well as expansion of business. In conclusion, the people who believe that junk food commercial should be restricted because that is one the main reason of people gain weight. However, for the development of any business there is a necessity of advertisement as this is one of the prime way to make buyers not only aware about but also consume about it.
The junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
that is
belief of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
while the others have a view that firm should have an absolute right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. Advertising is one of the main reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become allure and victim of outrageous disease.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
profit by making aware to advertise the item.

On one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should have prohibition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
Firstly
, the frequent promotional activity of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
on media is one of the way to attract the consumers.
In other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from every age become captivated towards it and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is consumed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
by individual.
As a result
, the excessive amount of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
obese and diabetic. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is high in calorie and rich in sugar.
For example
, according to the survey of Times of India, the 70% citizen from USA suffering from obesity after watching Mac D’
Possible spelling mistake found.
onalds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
in TV in 2015.

On the other hand
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
have a right to advertise the product or service. The business have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
ultimate goal is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
higher profit as invested large amount of capital.
Thus
, promotional activity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
consumer aware about the items which the firm are selling. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
become restrict for its commercial then it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to attract the buyers and it would
automatically
affect the growth of business.
Hence
, the promotion of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is necessary for profit
as well
as expansion of business.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
commercial should
be restricted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that is
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the main reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain weight.
However
, for the development of any business there is a necessity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
as this is one of the prime way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
buyers not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
aware about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
consume about it.
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IELTS essay Many people thing that fast food companies should not be allowed to advertise while others believed that all companies should have the right to advertise. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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