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Over population in urban areas has need to numerous problems . Identify one or two problems and suggest way that government and individual can tackle these problems ?

Over population in urban areas has need to numerous problems. Identify one or two problems and suggest way that government and individual can tackle these problems? 52YkP
The problem of overpopulation which was always debate has now become more controversial many proponents claiming that it is hazardous while other reject this notion. The substantial influence of this Trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, former proposition appears to be more rational. This essay will further elaborate the negative effect of this trend along with some remidies to solve this problem and thus will lead to a logical conclusion. There are myriad of reasons which will further
The problem of overpopulation which was always debate has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become more controversial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
proponents claiming that it is hazardous while other reject this notion. The substantial influence of this Trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, former proposition appears to be more rational. This essay will
further
elaborate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of this trend along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
remidies
to solve this problem and
thus
will lead to a logical conclusion.

There are myriad of reasons which will
further

IELTS essay Over population in urban areas has need to numerous problems. Identify one or two problems and suggest way that government and individual can tackle these problems?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
86 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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