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Out of Vietnam’s health budget, a large proportion should be spent on buying Covid-19 vaccines to stop the dramatic spread of the disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Out of Vietnam’s health budget, a large proportion should be spent on buying Covid-19 vaccines to stop the dramatic spread of the disease. with this statement? JKgQk
In the context of the Covid-19 pandemic ranging all over the world, many people claim that so as to prevent the extensive proliferation of this virus, the Ministry of Health of Vietnam ought to spend a substantial amount of money on purchasing vaccines. Personally, I somewhat agree with this notion since there are other things that should be spent on. This essay will give a thoroughly view of my opinion. It is no doubt that vaccines posed a crucial role in curing diseases due to the fact that it activates the immune system to create antibodies which help fight the real virus. In Vietnam, where biotechnology is not advanced enough to research and produce an appropriate vaccine, especially during this worldwide pandemic, it is extremely essential to import vaccines from developed countries, as illustrated by the USA or the UK. Moreover, large amount of vaccines should be purchased and injected to the people simultaneously. Only by this method can this virus be stopped from spreading. Otherwise, new variants of the same virus will form and develop such abilities that may resist the current vaccines. Besides, a quite large extent from the budget should also be spent on innovative medical supplies so as to save the lives of unfortunate people who were infected and are in serious condition. In addition, MoH had better supply face masks, hand sanitizers, protective clothing as well as food for frontline doctors and volunteers. Had it not been for those people’s precious actions, no one would have been vaccinated and loads of deaths would have been recorded. To conclude, it is undeniable that the government should spend billions on vaccines so that the sensational outbreak of the coronavirus can be reduced, yet an equal amount also needs to be used to support those who are frontline against the pandemic.
In the context of the Covid-19 pandemic ranging all over the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the extensive proliferation of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
virus
, the Ministry of Health of Vietnam ought to spend a substantial amount of money on purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
.
Personally
, I somewhat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion since there are other things that should
be spent
on. This essay will give a
You used an adverb ('thoroughly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('view') instead of another adjective.
thoroughly view
of my opinion.

It is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
posed a crucial role in curing diseases due to the fact that it activates the immune system to create antibodies which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
fight the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
virus
. In Vietnam, where biotechnology is not advanced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to research and produce an appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
,
especially
during this worldwide pandemic, it is
extremely
essential to import
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
, as illustrated by the USA or the UK.
Moreover
, large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
and injected to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
simultaneously
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
by this method can this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
virus
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
from spreading.
Otherwise
, new variants of the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
virus
will form and develop such abilities that may resist the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
vaccines.

Besides
, a quite large extent from the budget should
also
be spent
on innovative medical supplies
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
save the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of unfortunate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
were infected
and are in serious condition.
In addition
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
MoH
had better supply face masks, hand sanitizers, protective clothing
as well
as food for
Possible spelling mistake found.
frontline
doctors and volunteers. Had it not been for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
precious actions, no one would have
been vaccinated
and loads of deaths would have
been recorded
.

To conclude
, it is undeniable that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend billions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the sensational outbreak of the coronavirus can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
,
yet
an equal amount
also
needs to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to support those who are
Possible spelling mistake found.
frontline
against the pandemic.
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IELTS essay Out of Vietnam’s health budget, a large proportion should be spent on buying Covid-19 vaccines to stop the dramatic spread of the disease. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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