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. Our personalities are predetermined as result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our characteristic traits. To what extent do you agree?

The personality of an individual has nothing to do with the heredity of a person in fact, it determines the characteristic trait of him. Hence, I believe if a person wants to over- come his deficiencies then he can do it by following certain techniques. This essay will discuss that genes do not carry a person’s personality and one can change his characteristic trait. The genes can carry attitude and behavior which can influence an individual personality but, a child born will develop a personality of his own and parents have nothing to do with it. Parents with aggressive nature may raise a child of his own nature and same is with the parents of polite nature. In filmland, there are a number of famous personalities that come from a conservative-thinking families but, they have made their own personality and are recognized for it. A person can change his characteristic trait which he thinks is not good for him because personalities are developed as a result of the exposure one gets from environment, family etc. If an individual is having a fear of something which is disturbing his mental health and he is getting thoughts of putting his life at risk, he can overcome his fear by consulting a therapist or taking counseling sessions. Similarly, a person can control his temper issues by following different techniques available of internet. To conclude, however, the desire to change personality is uncommon but people wishing to alter their characteristic trait can do it and overcome their deficiencies easily because personalities are not determined by genes.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
of an individual has nothing to do with the heredity of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in fact, it determines the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristic
trait of him.
Hence
, I believe if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
wants to over-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
his deficiencies then he can do it by following certain techniques. This essay will discuss that genes do not carry a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
and one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristic
trait.

The genes can carry attitude and behavior which can influence an individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, a child born will develop a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and parents have nothing to do with it. Parents with aggressive nature may raise a child of his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nature and same is with the parents of polite nature. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
filmland
, there are a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personalities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from a conservative-thinking families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, they have made their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
and
are recognized
for it.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristic
trait which he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
personalities
are developed
as a result
of the exposure one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
from environment, family etc. If an individual is having a fear of something which is disturbing his mental
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
he is getting thoughts of putting his life at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
, he can overcome his fear by consulting a therapist or taking counseling sessions.
Similarly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can control his temper issues by following
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
techniques available of internet.

To conclude
,
however
, the desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
is uncommon
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
wishing to alter their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristic
trait can do it and overcome their deficiencies
easily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
personalities are not determined by genes.
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IELTS essay . Our personalities are predetermined as result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our characteristic traits.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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