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Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits. To what extent do you agree?

A lot of deliberation is held on whether an individual’s nature is acquired genetically or developed by the experiences offered by life. In my opinion, lifetime experiences play a greater role than genetics in a person’s development. Life experiences can mould a child into being better or worse irrespective of their biology. These experiences help one understand how the world works and the best way to fit into it. While genetic traits may influence a person's physical characteristics, emotional growth and disposition come from individual experiences. For example, even identical twins who share identical genetic makeup are almost always poles apart characteristically. A person learns a lot about his environment and these experiences often change him. For instance, I was an introvert as a child. But as I moved into a hostel in my teenage, I was transformed into a more sociable person. This was because the hostel life required more interaction with others. Therefore, I believe that innate characteristics can be altered as required by the surrounding environment. Moreover, the progress of an individual depends upon his own hard work and dedication. The child of a successful doctor need not be as successful as his father. Hence the life of an individual has a positive and negative effect on his personality and development. In conclusion, the inborn characteristics have some influence on an individual’s personality and development. However, in my opinion, it is mainly the outlook and appearance that are acquired and not the personality. Lifetime situations have a major influence on our ability to cope with our circumstances and succeed in life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
deliberation
is held
on whether an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
nature
is acquired
genetically
or developed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
offered by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In my opinion, lifetime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
play a greater role than genetics in a person’s development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
can
Possible spelling mistake. ‘mould’ is British English.
mould
a child into being better or worse irrespective of their biology. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
one understand how the world works and the best way to fit into it.

While genetic traits may influence a person's physical characteristics, emotional growth and disposition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
.
For example
, even identical twins who share identical genetic makeup are almost always poles apart
characteristically
.

A person learns a lot about his environment and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
him.
For instance
, I was an introvert as a child.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
into a hostel in my teenage, I
was transformed
into a more sociable person. This was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the hostel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
required more interaction with others.
Therefore
, I believe that innate characteristics can
be altered
as required by the surrounding environment.
Moreover
, the progress of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
depends upon his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and dedication. The child of a successful doctor need not be as successful as his father.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on his personality and development.

In conclusion
, the inborn characteristics have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
influence on an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
personality and development.
However
, in my opinion, it is
mainly
the outlook and appearance that
are acquired
and not the personality. Lifetime situations have a major influence on our ability to cope with our circumstances and succeed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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