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Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to alter our character traits. To what extent do you agree?

Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to alter our character traits. B0r6
It is a widely held belief that one’s character and behavioral traits are fixed by genetics and these unique characteristics are perpetual in nature. I agree to a certain extent. It is well known that the fundamental traits of a person are predetermined by genetics and it is also proven by science that innate abilities and behavioral traits can be passed on through genes. Some of the common attributes and qualities passed on through genetic material include physique, talents, behavior, and health conditions. It is passed down for generations and is termed as heredity. Change is the only constant in life. This philosophy applies to all living beings and humans too. The human genome is constantly evolving and adapting to different conditions on every perceivable level from behavior to core human functions. A person is also shaped by his or her experiences and adapt according to their perceptions. This has the potential to alter behavioral traits and adhering to evolution, the genes imprint information in itself and pass it on to the next generation. It is also proven by scientific studies in psychology that human beings adapt to situations and display the remarkable ability to learn from their experiences. This also applies to the core behavioral traits. Such traits do not change but are tempered and altered by experience. To conclude, talents, health conditions, and some aspects of behavior are passed on for generations through DNA. But this basic code does not apply completely to behavior as it can be modified by personal experiences. However, the genetic code applies completely to health conditions such as hereditary diseases.
It is a
widely
held belief that one’s character and behavioral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
by genetics and these unique characteristics are perpetual in nature. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to a certain extent.

It is well known that the fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
of a person
are predetermined
by genetics and it is
also
proven by science that innate abilities and behavioral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passed
on through genes.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
common attributes and qualities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passed
on through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
material include physique, talents,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
, and health conditions. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passed
down for generations and
is termed
as heredity.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Change
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
constant in life. This philosophy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applies
to all living beings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
too. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
genome is
constantly
evolving and adapting to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
conditions on every perceivable level from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
to core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
functions. A person is
also
shaped by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
experiences and adapt according to their perceptions. This has the potential to alter behavioral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
and adhering to evolution, the genes imprint information in itself and pass it on to the
next
generation. It is
also
proven by scientific studies in psychology that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings adapt to situations and display the remarkable ability to learn from their experiences. This
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applies
to the core behavioral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traits
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are tempered
and altered by experience.

To conclude
, talents, health conditions, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passed
on for generations through DNA.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this basic code does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apply
completely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
as it can
be modified
by personal experiences.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
code
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applies
completely to health conditions such as hereditary diseases.

IELTS essay Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to alter our character traits.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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