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Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits. To what extent do you agree? v.8

Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits. v. 8
It argues that our personalities are predefined as an effect of genes before our birth and it is impossible to change. In my view, while I agree that the character of the individual is inborn, it can also be altered. The character of an individual is the one, which is built, before birth genetically. An individual personality is directly related to his or her genes, it is developed pre-birth. People possess behaviour and attitude in the same way as their parent’s nature and they react to different situations the exact way their parents do. That is to say, if a person possesses an aggressive mind, it is highly likely that his or her parents would be short-tempered. A recent survey by the International Institute of London, for instance, showed that children who are polite in nature are highly likely, owing to their parents possessing such attitude. However, personality and behaviour of an individual can be changed. A person may have a certain type of behaviour in his or her outlook, which may not be likable, but it can be altered through environment and guidance. This is because people behave and react the same way they are taught. Similarly, spending time in better circumstances, a bad attitude can be converted to a good one. Research by Oxford University, for example, revealed that out of 100 students, 70 students abandoned their unhappy nature by spending time with happy people and learning about the importance of happiness in life. In conclusion, although some believe that personality is a pre-existing thing, due to genes before birth, in my opinion, the character of a person can be modified, through guidance and environment.
It argues that our personalities
are predefined
as an effect of genes
before
our birth and it is impossible to
change
. In my view, while I
agree
that the character of the
individual
is inborn, it can
also
be altered
.

The character of an
individual
is the one, which
is built
,
before
birth
genetically
. An
individual
personality
is
directly
related to
his or her
genes, it
is developed
pre-birth
.
People
possess
behaviour
and attitude
in the same way
as their
parent’s
nature and
they react to
different
situations the exact way their
parents
do.
That is
to say, if a person possesses an aggressive mind, it is
highly
likely that
his or her
parents
would be short-tempered. A recent survey by the International Institute of London,
for instance
,
showed
that children who are polite in nature are
highly
likely, owing to their
parents
possessing such attitude.

However
,
personality
and
behaviour
of an
individual
can be
changed
. A person may have a certain type of
behaviour
in
his or her
outlook, which may not be likable,
but
it can
be altered
through environment and guidance. This is
because
people
behave and react the same way they
are taught
.
Similarly
, spending time in better circumstances, a
bad
attitude can
be converted
to a
good
one. Research by Oxford University,
for example
, revealed that out of 100 students, 70 students abandoned their unhappy nature by spending time with happy
people
and learning about the importance of happiness in life.

In conclusion
, although
some
believe that
personality
is a pre-existing thing, due to genes
before
birth, in my opinion, the character of a person can
be modified
, through guidance and environment.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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