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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Our current way of life will have a negative impact on future generations.

Our current way of life will have a negative impact on future generations. mLlMA
There is little room for doubt that with the development of civilization and technology, our ways of life changed drastically. As far as I am concerned, our present way of life will badly influence our future generations. It is reasonable that some may profess that doing sports is incredibly popular among citizens, and vegetarian food is of the greatest importance now that at any other time in humans’ history. But I find these arguments to be insufficient to overweigh the contradictory arguments. First and foremost, technological revolution lead us to some problems. Cars, for instance, are the main source of air pollution. The exhaust from cars already made the air in some regions incredibly toxic for breathing. For example, in Almaty, in my home town, the level of CO2 emissions has broke all the normal levels made by the scientists. The main reason for this is that two factors, such as big amount of cars and mountains that do not allow air to pass through the city, mixed together and made the situation critical. Thus, it is currently one of the most polluted cities in Kazakhstan, and the level of cancer diseases is comparatively at a high level. Cancer, as it is known, can pass through a person’s GNA, transferring this disease to future generations. Secondly, the food is overall much worse than is used to be many years ago. The fast food is not one of the main sources of food for many people. It is known that there are many harmful effects on eating such food. By consuming food of bad quality our organs and bodies, as a whole, suffer. For example, after eating burgers every day, my friend gained weight in more that three kilograms. As a result, he now has to stick to his diet in order to lose weight. By eating harmful food, we can affect out genes, and consequently, our future generations. To draw the conclusion, it is my strong opinion that our current way of life will considerably affect future generations in not a beneficial, for them, way. Thus, we should strive to reduce the level of air pollution, and try to eat healthier food.
There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
room for doubt that with the development of civilization and technology, our ways of life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
drastically
. As far as I
am concerned
, our present way of life will
badly
influence our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generations.

It is reasonable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may profess that doing sports is
incredibly
popular among citizens, and vegetarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is of the greatest importance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that at any other time in humans’ history.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I find these arguments to be insufficient to
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
the contradictory arguments.

First
and foremost, technological revolution lead us to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems. Cars,
for instance
, are the main source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution. The exhaust from cars already made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regions
incredibly
toxic for breathing.
For example
, in Almaty, in my home town, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of CO2 emissions has broke all the normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
levels
made by the scientists. The main reason for this is that two factors, such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of cars and mountains that do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
to pass through the city, mixed together and made the situation critical.
Thus
, it is
currently
one of the most polluted cities in Kazakhstan, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of cancer diseases is
comparatively
at a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
. Cancer, as it
is known
, can pass through a person’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
GNA
, transferring this disease to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generations.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
overall
much worse than is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years ago. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not one of the main sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It
is known
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
harmful effects on eating such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. By consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
quality our organs and bodies, as a whole, suffer.
For example
, after eating burgers every day, my friend gained weight in more that three kilograms.
As a result
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
stick to his diet in order to lose weight. By eating harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, we can
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
out genes, and
consequently
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generations.

To draw the conclusion, it is my strong opinion that our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
way of life will
considerably
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generations in not a beneficial, for them, way.
Thus
, we should strive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution, and try to eat healthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
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IELTS essay Our current way of life will have a negative impact on future generations.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
362 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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