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Other people are convinced that television is only useful for entertainment. Discuss this view and give your opinion?

Other people are convinced that television is only useful for entertainment. Discuss this view and give your opinion? R0drk
Some individuals strongly believe the television is beneficial for entertainment only. This essay supports this view point and will discuss this phenomena. Television are only useful for entertainment because most children watch cartoons after school every day. This serves as their main source of entertainment as they continously change to different channels following various cartoon channels. For instance, DSTV in 2019 cited that the number one most watched channel on television is Cartoon network and also cited that this channel is alway active during the day when children are at home. However, some people still hold a different view point saying the television is also a modern method of learning. They believe there are educational channels and programs that are helpful in acquiring general knowledge. For instance, The National Geographic channel broadcasts information of land features, how the ecosystem balances itself and also the effects of climate change on various types of environments. To conclude, the television is used mostly for entertainment as most children watch cartoons after school while some others still argue the television is useful for learning as well. It can ne said that the number one use of the television is to entertain as most people tend to watch movies most often on the television.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
strongly
believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is beneficial for entertainment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. This essay supports this view point and will discuss
Did you mean "these"?
this
phenomena.

Television
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
useful for entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cartoons
after school every day. This serves as their main source of entertainment as they
Possible spelling mistake found.
continously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
following various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cartoon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
DSTV
in 2019 cited that the number one most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channel
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cartoon
network and
also
cited that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channel
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
alway
active during the day when children are at home.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
hold a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
view point saying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is
also
a modern method of learning. They believe there are educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
and programs that are helpful in acquiring general knowledge.
For instance
, The National Geographic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channel
broadcasts information of land features, how the ecosystem balances itself and
also
the effects of climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
on various types of environments.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
mostly
for entertainment as most children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cartoons
after school while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others
still
argue the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is useful for learning
as well
. It can
Did you mean "né", "me", or "no"?
ne
said that the number one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is to entertain as most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
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IELTS essay Other people are convinced that television is only useful for entertainment. Discuss this view and give your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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