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Parents Should Spend More Time With Their Children Helping Them With Their Homework | Band 7 IELTS Essay Sample

Parents Should Spend More Time With Their Children Helping Them With Their Homework | Band 7 IELTS Essay Sample ArkMX
Children should be assisted by their parents in finishing the homework by giving them more attention and time. I strongly agree with the statement as it helps to develop a special emotional bond between child and parent by simultaneously monitoring the kids growth and interests in academics. A special connection is required between the elders of the house and the kids which helps them to discuss about the daily happenings in their personal life. In present day world, children are facing a lot of abuse like molestation in schools and neighbourhood. With hectic work schedules and pressure from office, people are not able to have a good family time. This is developing a gap between both the generations which is preventing the children from opening up to their parents. To bridge this gap, homework time can be one of the good choices as the parent gets to spend some extra dedicated time with kids and to know what the child is going through in his life which gives them strength and confidence to face situations. From one of the known experiences, a 6 year child was ill-treated by her own uncle at home, but, she could not discuss this with her family as both the parents were working and they could not spare much time for her during her growing years. This created a trauma which she could not overcome ever in her 20’s. In addition to it, one also needs to monitor the mental growth of a child. In spite of having great technology, a person cannot completely rely on any online classes or on a tutor to help the kid in completing homework. Most of these choices can only help to finish the home work technically but do not help a child to flourish the ideas. Only a parent can analyze the kids past interests, experiences, strengths and the target areas to focus. So only they can help the kid to overcome their fears and to explore beyond boundaries by giving an emotional push, which is very necessary to any human. One of the experiments proved that a child with extra care from elders tend to score better in academics than the independent or online educated kids because of the self-belief imbibed in them. To conclude, spending much time together can only increase a child’s mental health and makes him feel secure. If it is not possible to spend time everyday, parents should at least try and to do it more often.
Children should
be assisted
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in finishing the homework by giving them more attention and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to develop a special emotional bond between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
by
simultaneously
monitoring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
growth and interests in academics.

A special connection
is required
between the elders of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
daily happenings in their personal life. In present day world, children are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
abuse like molestation in schools and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
. With hectic work schedules and pressure from office,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not able to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This is developing a gap between both the generations which is preventing the children from opening up to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. To bridge this gap, homework
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can be one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choices as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra dedicated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
and to know what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is going through in his life which gives them strength and confidence to face situations. From one of the known experiences, a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "6-year"
6 year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
was ill-treated by her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
uncle at home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, she could not discuss this with her family as both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
working and
they could not spare much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for her during her growing years. This created a trauma which she could not overcome ever in her
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "20s".
20’s
.

In addition
to it, one
also
needs to monitor the mental growth of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
having great technology, a person cannot completely rely on any online classes or on a tutor to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
in completing homework. Most of these choices can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to finish the home work
technically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to flourish the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Only
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
can analyze the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
past interests, experiences, strengths and the target areas to focus.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
to overcome their fears and to explore beyond boundaries by giving an emotional push, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary to any human. One of the experiments proved that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
with extra care from elders tend to score better in academics than the independent or online educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the self-belief imbibed in them.

To conclude
, spending much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
increase a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
mental health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
him feel secure. If it is not possible to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should at least
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
to do it more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.
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IELTS essay Parents Should Spend More Time With Their Children Helping Them With Their Homework | Band 7 IELTS Essay Sample

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
414 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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