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There are many people who think that nowadays students study too many subjects that will make them unable to absorb and it is easy to make them stressed. What do you think about this opinion?

There are many people who think that nowadays students study too many subjects that will make them unable to absorb and it is easy to make them stressed. What do you think about this opinion? K3N6k
I disagree with this opinion because there are many hidden reasons. First of all, because the subjects are all studied according to the timetable which is well organized, evenly divided over time. And this arrangement helps students to absorb the subjects more easily and without the pressure of subject and time. In addition, the subjects for students to study are useful because nowadays the majors are always organized by subjects so I think it is very useful for students. Especially during the school year, there will be holidays and weekends, between subjects, it will be free to play, so it will make students more comfortable.
I disagree with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hidden reasons.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are all studied according to the timetable which is well organized,
evenly
divided over time. And this arrangement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to absorb the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
more
easily
and without the pressure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and time.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study are useful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays the majors are always organized by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Especially
during the school year, there will be holidays and weekends, between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, it will be free to play,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more comfortable.
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IELTS essay There are many people who think that nowadays students study too many subjects that will make them unable to absorb and it is easy to make them stressed. What do you think about this opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
105 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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