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opinions vary on whether students should take a gap year before going into higher education. Discuss the possible advantages and disadvantages of taking a year out do you believe that taking a gap year is a good idea?

opinions vary on whether students should take a gap year before going into higher education. Discuss the possible advantages and disadvantages of taking a year out do you believe that taking a gap year is a good idea? xPDk9
Students may choose to take a year out before going to university there are various opinions on whether it is a good decision or not. Take a gap year may provide a student the circumstance to work in order to save some money for educations costs. This would give a chance to students who give up studying because of low budget. Meanwhile they would be more socialize and be prepared for being in a brand new place. Through this year they could travel or experience the things that they wanted to but never happened so that they can start studying with full energy and total concentration. Psychologists provided that, in some cases educating with no breaks would lessen the outcome of students and quality of their knowledge. Although this opinion has some benefits it can cause some complications. Due to a year gap and not being in touch with courses and subjects, students may lose their mastery on lessons for instance a research indicates that approximately 40% of formulas has forgotten after a year being out by learners. In addition to that, this percentage is directly related to the gap time. Some universities have policies which are against gap during the education. Learners should explain what they have done in this gap time so acceptance for higher education may become tougher due to these laws. I believe that, although this is a good idea specially for economical reasons this may increases the risks and problems for higher education. So i would recommend it, but only if you have a certain plan and critical reasons for what you are going to do.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
may choose to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to university there are various opinions on whether it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decision or not.

Take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
may provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
the circumstance to work in order to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
costs. This would give a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who give up studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of low budget.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
they would be more socialize and
be prepared
for being in a
'brand new' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "brand-new".
brand new
place. Through this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
they could travel or experience the things that they wanted to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
never happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
studying with full energy and total concentration. Psychologists provided that, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases educating with no breaks would lessen the outcome of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and quality of their knowledge.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
this opinion has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits it can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
complications. Due to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
and not being in touch with courses and subjects,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may lose their mastery on lessons
for instance
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
indicates that approximately 40% of formulas has forgotten after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
being out by learners.
In addition
to that, this percentage is
directly
related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
universities have policies which are against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Learners should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
what they have done in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
acceptance for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
may become tougher due to these laws.

I believe that, although this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
specially
for
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
reasons this may increases the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and problems for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Did you mean "I"?
i
would recommend it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if you have a certain plan and critical reasons for what you are going to do.
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IELTS essay opinions vary on whether students should take a gap year before going into higher education. Discuss the possible advantages and disadvantages of taking a year out do you believe that taking a gap year is a good idea?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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