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According to some individual history is one of the essential subject in temprary era . Other realize in today's world,ciruculumm like science and technology are much imperative.this essay will intend to analyse both the views along with my perspective .

According to some individual history is one of the essential subject in temprary era. Other realize in today's world, ciruculumm like science and technology are much imperative. this essay will intend to analyse both the views along with my perspective. 7p5ly
On the one hand, there are several type of benefits of history. Firstly, through the history' we can not learnt only mistakes which had done by our progenitor but also learn about the achievements of predecessor. Through the history people can learn how cultures were built, as well as ancient times and how they have been changed. The history of the world also helps us to understand the wars many lessons, both are good and bad, to be learned from the way our ancestors have integrated with other people who have different ways of living. History also helpfull for new generation because it is vital curriculum in schools On the other hand, other people have opine that science and technology play very good role in our whole life. They make our life easy and comfortable. In addition, technology also provide us treatments for several type of diseases. Even, in our area laptop, phones, fans all were made by science technology. And with the help of science technology, people get mor multinational jobs in every fields, and get achievements in their future. However science technology is more essential academic subjects for scholars in every institutes. In conclusion, there are numerous benefits of history and science technology because both have their vital merits in every educational institutes. History gave us knowledge about by gone era and technology gave us job opportunity as well as treatments for every disease. . 7
On the one hand, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun type seems to be countable; consider using: "several types".
several type
of benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
.
Firstly
, through the history' we can not
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "learn"
learnt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mistakes which had done by our progenitor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
learn about the achievements of predecessor. Through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn how cultures
were built
,
as well
as ancient times and how they have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of the world
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to understand the wars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lessons, both are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, to
be learned
from the way our ancestors have integrated with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of living.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
helpfull
for new generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Please check whether an article is missing: "is a vital" or "is an vital"
is vital
curriculum in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
schools


On the other hand
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Use past participle here: "opined".
opine
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
role in our whole life. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life easy and comfortable.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
also
provide us treatments for
Possible agreement error. The noun type seems to be countable; consider using: "several types".
several type
of diseases. Even, in our area laptop, phones, fans all
were made
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. And with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
mor
multinational jobs in every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "field"?
fields
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
achievements in their future.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is more essential academic subjects for scholars in every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "institute"?
institutes
.

In conclusion
, there are numerous benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both have their vital merits in every educational institutes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
gave us knowledge about by gone era and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
gave us job opportunity
as well
as treatments for every disease.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
7
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IELTS essay According to some individual history is one of the essential subject in temprary era. Other realize in today's world, ciruculumm like science and technology are much imperative. this essay will intend to analyse both the views along with my perspective.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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