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ONLINE SHOPPING IS SIGNIFICANTLY INCREASING. WHAT EFFECT DOES THIS HAVE PEOPLE, WHAT ARE THE DEMERITS AND WHAT ARE THE JOB OPPORTUNITIES?

ONLINE SHOPPING IS SIGNIFICANTLY INCREASING. WHAT EFFECT DOES THIS HAVE PEOPLE, WHAT ARE THE DEMERITS AND WHAT ARE THE JOB OPPORTUNITIES? KVqL9
Online shopping has become a part of our lives, this area has its drawbacks, but it can also be an opportunity to reduce unemployment. Online stores build on their reputation and people's trust, however some stores may sell bad-quality fake products instead of original ones, but many stores can provide a large number of people with jobs, thereby reducing unemployment. Many people who bought or purchased some services or products, met with a different types of cheating. Distrust in online shopping isn’t high, but incidents of deceit happen all over the world. Qualified online shops have a large number of customers and people trust them and they cant bring any problems for people who can compare reliable site by the unqualified. For example, even people who know a lot about a cheating in internet can be deceived, any person can get in this situation. On the other hand, online shops can be an employer for people without job, or who want to work without leaving apartments. Big number of students can be involved in job like manager of online shop or an advertiser. This is a good opportunity for disabled people and useful experience of work. Experience in this sphere can be part of knowledge in making own online shop business. Transition to online shopping haves advantages and drawbacks, it’s ambiguous when a lot of people deceiving by cheaters in internet, but we can’t forget about opportunities, which can increase level of employment and give people working places who haven’t possibility.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
shopping has become a part of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, this area has its drawbacks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
also
be an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
unemployment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
stores build on their reputation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's trust,
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stores may sell
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
-quality fake products
instead
of original ones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
stores can provide
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with jobs, thereby reducing unemployment.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
services or products, met with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "type"?
types
of cheating. Distrust in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping isn’t high,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
incidents of deceit happen all over the world. Qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
have
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
customers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
trust
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they
Did you mean "can't" or "cannot"?
cant
bring any problems for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can compare reliable site by the unqualified.
For example
, even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
know a lot about a cheating in internet can
be deceived
, any person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in this situation.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
can be an employer for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without job, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to work without leaving apartments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Big
number of students can
be involved
in job like manager of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
or an advertiser. This is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity for disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and useful experience of work. Experience in this sphere can be part of knowledge in making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
business.

Transition to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping haves advantages and drawbacks, it’s ambiguous when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
deceiving by cheaters in internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can’t forget about opportunities, which can increase level of employment and give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
haven’t possibility.
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IELTS essay ONLINE SHOPPING IS SIGNIFICANTLY INCREASING. WHAT EFFECT DOES THIS HAVE PEOPLE, WHAT ARE THE DEMERITS AND WHAT ARE THE JOB OPPORTUNITIES?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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