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Online shopping is becoming more popular. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of work required?

Nowadays, customers are increasingly buying online, where they can order whatever they want directly to their living accommodation with the shipping service of the e-commerce platform. This trend leads companies to improve their internet shopping experience, and numerous new jobs required. In the beginning, online shopping would impact the environment. First, online shopping is more convenient than in-store shopping: an online store does not require a large financial investment as much as in-store, and customers do not need to directly come to these online stores. Second, online transactions are more effective than traditional ways. For instance, the supermarket will be struggling to process payment procedures in the rush time such as promotional events and weekend shopping but the online transaction is a good method to solve this. The effect is slightly more complex than that. Several types of new jobs are rising based on the trend of online shopping, and these works required employees to be more responsible and competitive. The fact that many home delivery services and technology drivers attempt to increase the delivery speed to adapt the customer requirement. Moreover, customers who choose speedy delivery or those who buy single items from different places also contribute to increasing the complexity of transport. There are some positive tendencies, as various online retailers are starting to contribute to a modern consuming market by investing in online stores and professional delivery services. This new shopping experience still needs to deal with higher efficiency operation and pressure for quality of products, services, and work environment.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
are
increasingly
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, where they can order whatever they want
directly
to their living accommodation with the shipping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
of the e-commerce platform. This trend leads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience, and numerous new jobs required.

In the beginning,
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online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
would impact the environment.
First
,
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online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is more convenient than in-store
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
: an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
store does not require a large financial investment as much as in-store, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
do not need to
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
transactions are more effective than traditional ways.
For instance
, the supermarket will be struggling to process payment procedures in the rush time such as promotional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and weekend
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
transaction is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
method to solve this.

The effect is
slightly
more complex than that. Several types of new jobs are rising based on the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, and these works required employees to be more responsible and competitive. The fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delivery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and technology drivers attempt to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delivery
speed to adapt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
requirement.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
who choose speedy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delivery
or those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
single items from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places
also
contribute to increasing the complexity of transport.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
tendencies, as various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
retailers are starting to contribute to a modern consuming market by investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
delivery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. This new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience
still
needs to deal with higher efficiency operation and pressure for quality of products,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, and work environment.
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IELTS essay Online shopping is becoming more popular. How could this trend affect our environment and the kinds of work required?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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