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The government and individuals are spending too much money on national celebrations like new year or festivals. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays in our society too many politicians and citizens have the prejudice to celebrate holidays or some kind of festivals with spending much money including New Year and Navruz. During the holiday people spend some finance for entertainment, besides for beauty of cities while after the ceremony people need not anymore to this decorations. This essay support saving money and utilize it in economy problems that will debate this phenomenon with valuable examples. On the one hand every individual wants to everything is more convenient which are streets or central places decorate with lights and highlight lamps before the 2-3 days of vocation. They make this kind of fashions for ambition or swagger about their work hear from other people. In addition some people say we could not feel holiday without ornament that if we ornate them, we can take the photo with special sensation. In fact last year during the New Year holiday people made big Christmas tree in Namangan city and government provided with 10000$. This money was taken by budget and it was collected from citizens. On the other hand after the holiday we can see exhausted people and it seem their adoring is wasting of time that do not want to clean them. Additionally nowadays we can see there are too many people are facing with poverty and they need too help from charities that if we keep the money for poverty instead of purchase fir tree, we can help to improve the economy of our country. I have the inclination for champion them, owing to the main factor of the threw up trash to everywhere during the holiday is more increased year by year. According to the research in Bishkek people gave up 5 ton of garbage to streets in 2014 December 31. To sum up, decorating everywhere can be favourite hobby for people during the vocation while we should encourage them from doing this habit in order to save the finance for other people who were getting into trouble.
Nowadays in our society too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
politicians and citizens have the prejudice to celebrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of festivals with spending much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
including New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Year
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Navruz
. During the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
finance for entertainment,
besides
for beauty of cities while after the ceremony
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need not anymore to
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘decorations’. Did you mean “these”?
this
decorations. This essay support saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and utilize it in economy problems that will debate this phenomenon with valuable examples. On the one hand every individual wants to everything is more convenient which are streets or central places decorate with lights and highlight lamps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the 2-3 days of vocation. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this kind of fashions for ambition or swagger about their work hear from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say we could not feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
without ornament that if
It seems that a verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here. Please verify.
we ornate
them, we can take the photo with special sensation. In fact last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
during the New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Christmas tree in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Namangan
city and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provided with
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: “$10000”.
10000$
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
was taken
by
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
budget and
it
was collected
from citizens.
On the other hand
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
exhausted
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “seems”.
seem
their adoring is wasting of time that do not want to clean them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
nowadays we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
there are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing with
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
poverty and
they need too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from charities that if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for poverty
instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
fir tree, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economy of our country. I have the inclination for champion them, owing to the main factor of the threw up trash to everywhere during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
is more increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. According to the research in Bishkek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gave up 5 ton of garbage to streets in 2014 December 31. To sum up, decorating everywhere can be
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favourite’ is British English.
favourite
hobby for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
during the vocation while we should encourage them from doing this habit in order to save the finance for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who were getting into trouble.
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IELTS essay The government and individuals are spending too much money on national celebrations like new year or festivals.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
335 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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