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Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In the modern era, few people believe that modern technology has made shopping more accessible and easier. While others don't agree with the same. I would like state my views below Firstly, Modern technology has made shopping more accesbile and easier. It is because it had provided us with platfrom which we could access from our homes without spending lots of time moving around checking out for the right products. Also, it provides us with different varities and wide range of prices. For example let us take Amazon, where they sell products from A-Z. Which makes our life more simpler and easier to access them by showing us how products works with their descriptions below, besides their users reviews on all different products which would gives sense of assurance us on their products. Perhaps we could agree that modern technology has impacted in positive way in terms of accessing and reviewing them from ease of our own time and place. On the other hand, we could also agree that modern techology made us more addictive to shopping with their addictive misleading advertisements. It happens because, since most of the modern shopping is done with help of mobile phones and computers. As a result, we tend to get addicted to shopping. Because the online shopping providers use their power of marketing to influence us to shop more unnecessary products from their websites. Consequently, it lead us in buying new products and wasting our money. Which is the negative side of it. To conclude, modern technology has both negative and positive impact on shopping because of their easier accessiblity and of our greed to shop more with their addictive advertisements.
In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
era, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
more accessible and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the same. I would
The verb “state” needs to be in the to-infinitive form.
like state
my views
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
below


Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
accesbile
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it had provided us with
Possible spelling mistake found.
platfrom
which we could access from our homes without spending lots of time moving around checking out for the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Also
, it provides us with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
varities
and wide range of prices.
For example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us take Amazon, where they sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from A-Z. Which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our life
Use only “simpler” (without ‘more’) when you use the comparative.
more simpler
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
to access them by showing us how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
works with their descriptions below,
besides
their users reviews on all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which would gives sense of assurance us on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Perhaps we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has impacted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way in terms of accessing and reviewing them from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
time and place.

On the other hand
, we could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
Possible spelling mistake found.
techology
made us more addictive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
with their addictive misleading advertisements. It happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, since most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is done
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of mobile phones and computers.
As a result
, we tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
the online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
providers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their power of marketing to influence us to shop more unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from their websites.
Consequently
, it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “leads”.
lead
us in buying new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and wasting our money.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of it.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
Possible spelling mistake found.
accessiblity
and of our greed to shop more with their addictive advertisements.
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IELTS essay Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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