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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Working hard is the only way of success. In many cultures, children are advised that struggling for their aim would take them close towards their dreams. Because hard work will teach them many real life lessons which will be helpful for their development. However, pros and cons of this message in children's life will be discussed in further paragraphs. Work should be done with proper dedication. It is especially pivotal for children. It has many advantages. Firstly, working hard with proper techniques make them realise the value of work as well as about aim. Secondly, they will learn many beneficial lessons by working hard which will develops competencies. For instance, if a student studies with proper attention by trying hard, then he will learn many things from his study. Albeit, this message has only one drawback. For the acquiring goals, working hard is not only the solution, but also smart work which plays a vital role in children's life. Every work require planning, for the accuracy it needs techniques which is known as smart work. For example, desiring good result in exam of IELTS will require proper planning and tricks to be successful in it. Labour work will not be effective in it. To conclude this topic, children are said that trying hard in a four achievement of goal is significant for them. It should be done with smart work that will be more advantages in the life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way of success. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cultures, children
are advised
that struggling for their aim would take them close towards their dreams.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will teach them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
lessons which will be helpful for their development.
However
, pros and cons of this message in children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will
be discussed
in
further
paragraphs.

Work should
be done
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
dedication. It is
especially
pivotal for children. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
techniques
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
Possible spelling mistake. ‘realise’ is British English.
realise
the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as well
as about aim.
Secondly
, they will learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
beneficial lessons by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
which will develops competencies.
For instance
, if a student studies with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
attention by trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
, then he will learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things from his study.

Albeit, this message has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one drawback. For the acquiring goals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the solution,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which plays a vital role in children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
require planning, for the accuracy it needs techniques which
is known
as smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For example
, desiring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
result in exam of IELTS will require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
planning and tricks to be successful in it.
Possible spelling mistake. ‘Labour’ is British English.
Labour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will not be effective in it.

To conclude
this topic, children
are said
that trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
in a four achievement of goal is significant for them. It should
be done
with smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that will be more advantages in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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