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Online shopping is becoming more common these days

Online shopping is becoming more common these days 73n8b
Online shopping is becoming more popular nowadays. Younger generation who is more tech savvy is more likely to use online shopping. The industry also experience a sharp growth in the past 2 years due to the pandemic where everyone is kept at home against their will. There are certainly some impact from the shift of shopping habits. Online shopping has negative impact over the environment as it creates more plastic waste due to the packaging involves. Items shipped for online shopping need to be wrapped properly to ensure the goods are not damaged when receive by the customer. A lot of plastic been used for that purpose such as bubble wraps. All of these are disposable items which cannot be recycled. They all will end up in landfills eventually. Besides that, online shopping has also increase the frequency of transportation around the world let it be by plane, ferry or car. All of these requires fuels to operate and they produce carbon dioxide as well. The convenience of online shopping allows people to purchase far away from home, while these goods need to be transported, it pollutes the environment along the way. On the other hand, the job market is also greatly affected by the shift in shopping trend. The job required switch in accordance to market demand. Since market has less demand for physical store, this will also be reflected on the job market. For example, a company may cut down the number of their store attendant and recruit digital content creator or website manager instead. People who fails to see the change in market demand may be at risk of losing their jobs if no improvement has been made. Moreover, we can see more jobs being created within the transportation sector, as there are higher demand for deliveries. In conclusion, online shopping has immerse impact on the environment as well as the employment market. Corporate and the government must work together to curb the environmental impact while employee must constantly be updated on the market changes and seek for improvement in order to stay in the job market.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is becoming more popular nowadays. Younger generation who is more
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
tech savvy
is more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. The industry
also
experience a sharp growth in the past 2 years due to the pandemic where everyone is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
at home against their will. There are
certainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
from the shift of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
habits.

Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
over the environment as it creates more plastic waste due to the packaging involves. Items shipped for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
need to
be wrapped
properly
to ensure the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are not damaged when receive by the customer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
plastic been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for that purpose such as bubble wraps. All of these are disposable items which cannot
be recycled
. They all will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in landfills
eventually
.

Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
also
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "increased".
increase
the frequency of transportation around the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
it be by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
, ferry or car. All of these requires fuels to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
operate and
they produce carbon dioxide
as well
. The convenience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
far away from home, while these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
need to
be transported
, it pollutes the environment along the way.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
is
also
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the shift in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
trend. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
required switch in accordance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
has less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
for physical store, this will
also
be reflected
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
.
For example
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the number of their store attendant and recruit digital content creator or website manager
instead
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
Did you mean "fail"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'People' should be used.
fails
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
may be at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of losing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
if no improvement has
been made
.

Moreover
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
being created
within the transportation sector, as there are higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
demand
for deliveries.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
Use past participle here: "immersed".
immerse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on the environment
as well
as the employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
. Corporate and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
work together to curb the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
while employee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
constantly
be updated
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and seek for improvement in order to stay in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
.
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IELTS essay Online shopping is becoming more common these days

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
350 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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