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ONLINE EDUCATION AND TRAINING IS VECOMING INCREASINGLY POPLULAR IN THIS BUSINESS WORLD.. ADVANTAGE OUTWEIGHS DISADVANTAGE?

ONLINE EDUCATION AND TRAINING IS VECOMING INCREASINGLY POPLULAR IN THIS BUSINESS WORLD. . ADVANTAGE OUTWEIGHS DISADVANTAGE? W8jNk
The world is taking vehemently steps towards modernization. In this era of technology online study and training is becoming popular. In this fast life this technique is helpful to save time and money. Despite having numerous benifits of this uprising trend has few darker sides too. Even though both merits and demerits will be discussed below and finally conclusion is deduced. It is widely known that online schools and jobs are time saviour. There is no need of migration in such case. For instance taking education from university of different country via internet. We don't need to fly for hours in such phenomenon. Furthermore it is also a money saving system. For example if training is being online because of that employees do not need to go at place. which can save expanses of traveling, accomodation, food etc. Inspite of profit there are serval negative points too. It is impossible to share practical knowledge without physical appearance. To illustrate sports study and practical training can not be taught by internet. Main need for it is practice under guidance. Additionally a good strong internet connection is must for this. Which is not possible all the time. Strength of internet connection will vary with time and place. Infect fluctuations in such will make negative impact. To recapitulate, I firmly believe that advantages are outweighting disadvantage. As in this era of covid online Education and training will takedown many of health risks. Additionally saving time, energy and money with getting knowledge is best way to cope with business world.
The world is taking
vehemently
steps towards modernization. In this era of technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
study and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
is becoming popular. In this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
life this technique is helpful to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money. Despite having numerous
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
of this uprising trend has few darker sides too.
Even though
both merits and demerits will
be discussed
below and
finally
conclusion
is deduced
.

It is
widely
known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
schools and jobs are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Possible spelling mistake found.
saviour
. There is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of migration in such case.
For instance
taking education from university of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country via internet. We don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
fly
for hours in such phenomenon.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
it is
also
a money saving system.
For example
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
is being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that employees do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to go at place.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
can save expanses of traveling,
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
, food etc.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Inspite
of profit there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
serval
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points too. It is impossible to share practical knowledge without physical appearance. To illustrate sports study and practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
can not
be taught
by internet. Main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for it is practice under guidance.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
strong internet connection is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for this.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
is not possible all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Strength of internet connection will vary with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and place. Infect fluctuations in such will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact.

To recapitulate, I
firmly
believe that advantages are
Possible spelling mistake found.
outweighting
disadvantage. As in this era of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
Education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
will
Possible spelling mistake found.
takedown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Additionally
saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, energy and money with getting knowledge
A determiner is probably missing here: "is the best".
is best
way to cope with business world.
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IELTS essay ONLINE EDUCATION AND TRAINING IS VECOMING INCREASINGLY POPLULAR IN THIS BUSINESS WORLD. . ADVANTAGE OUTWEIGHS DISADVANTAGE?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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