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Nowadays in many countries traditional customs are less popular than in the past. Do you agree or disagree? What can parents and teachers do about this?

Nowadays in many countries traditional customs are less popular than in the past. What can parents and teachers do about this? 53WGB
Cultures and traditions are the identity of every nation. In my opinion, deprivation of values and heritage is a major threat many countries are facing now, and globalization plays a vital role in a loss of cultural customs and morals. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons behind it along with what options parents and teachers can opt for. Influence of western cultures is highly affected on the traditional ways. In the modern society, people tend to follow and celebrate the cultures that are shown in the movies or followed by the surroundings. To illustrate, India has diversity in religious and traditions, in the past, Indians were e used to celebrate their New Year regarding ancient calendar of particular religion. On the contrary, nowadays, youngsters are blindly following western trend and celebrate New Year according to western style and time. Consequently, these manners are dropping conventional ritual’s importance in a number of countries. However, there is a plethora of ways by which parents and teachers can keep the heritage alive. Firstly, parents should make children to follow ancient rules by being a role model for them. For example, touching feet of elders is a traditional way to respect old people in many countries, so if this tendency is set in a house regularly then little would inculcate it easily. Secondly, teachers can plan a visual seminar once a week on precious history and ethics of the state which would help pupils to heed into it. Thus, several alternatives methods may help parents and teachers to keep Young one's faith in their traditions. To sum up, according to me, under the influence of western countries traditional customs are losing importance in numerous countries, nonetheless, this loss can be braked off by guiding fragile mind of children from an early age by the nurtures. Nowadays in many countries traditional customs are less popular than in the past. Do you agree or disagree? What can parents and teachers do about this?
Cultures and traditions are the identity of every nation. In my opinion, deprivation of values and heritage is a major threat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are facing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, and globalization plays a vital role in a loss of cultural customs and morals. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons behind it along with what options
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can opt for.

Influence of western cultures is
highly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
ways. In the modern society,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to follow and celebrate the cultures that
are shown
in the movies or followed by the surroundings. To illustrate, India has diversity in religious and traditions, in the past, Indians were e
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to celebrate their New Year regarding ancient calendar of particular religion.
On the contrary
, nowadays, youngsters are
blindly
following western trend and celebrate New Year according to western style and time.
Consequently
, these manners are dropping conventional ritual’s importance in a number of countries.

However
, there is a plethora of ways by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the heritage alive.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
children to follow ancient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
by being a role model for them.
For example
, touching feet of elders is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
way to respect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if this tendency
is set
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
regularly
then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
would inculcate it
easily
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can plan a visual seminar once a week on precious history and ethics of the state which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
pupils to heed into it.
Thus
, several alternatives methods may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
Young one's faith in their traditions.

To sum up, according to me, under the influence of western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
customs are losing importance in numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, nonetheless, this loss can
be braked
off by guiding fragile mind of children from an early age by the nurtures. Nowadays in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
customs are less popular than in the past. Do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
or disagree? What can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
do about this?
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IELTS essay Nowadays in many countries traditional customs are less popular than in the past. What can parents and teachers do about this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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