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What rigTopic: Drunk Driving Question: Do you think that it is wrong for people to drink alcohol and then drive? Do you think they should be punished?

What rigTopic: Drunk Driving Question: Do you think that it is wrong for people to drink alcohol and then drive? Do you think they should be punished? joPWL
It is sad but true that the number of road accidents is increasing nowadays and the statistic keeps rising. Many innocent people die on the roads every day. It is not a new thing for us anymore. One of the major reasons that lead to road accidents would be drinking and driving. That is definitely wrong for those who drink alcohol and then drive and they should be punished. First of all, they are wrong in doing so because they are not responsible. People who drink and then drive are not concerned about other people’s safety. Those who are drunk are unable to drive with a clear mind. For example, they may think that they are driving in the correct lane but actually they are not. Such action are more than enough to put other drivers in danger. Secondly, this is such an irresponsible activity because they do not appreciate precious life. Those who are drunk cannot access or react quickly to any bad situation that suddenly arises on the roads such as bad roads conditions and so on. Obviously, all of us can see what the outcome can be. One car crash with another one as well as the drivers may simply lose their life in a blink of an eye. In this case, the government has an important role to play. Since drunk drivers are a very great danger to themselves and to other road-users, therefore they should be punished. One way to do this is through law enforcement. The authorities may fine them heavily and give them mandatory jail sentences. The fine may become a burden for them and they dare not break the law when driving on the roads. Once again, government intervention is necessary in this case. Another way that can be carried out by the government would be to suspend their licenses for a certain period. Driving is an essential activity for some people. Therefore, such a punishment is very helpful in making the people aware of road safety because they are not willing to let their licenses be suspended for such a long time. In short, it is absolutely wrong for people to drink alcohol and then drive. So, they themselves must hold the responsibility by receiving the punishment according to the law.
It is sad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
true that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
accidents is increasing nowadays and

the statistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
rising.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
every day. It is not a

new thing for us anymore. One of the major reasons that lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
accidents would

be drinking and driving.
That is
definitely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
for those who drink alcohol and then

Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
drive and
they should
be punished
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not responsible.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People


who drink and then drive are not concerned about other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
safety. Those who
are drunk
are unable to drive with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
mind.
For example
, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they are

driving in the correct lane
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
actually they are not. Such action are more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough


to put other drivers in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

Secondly
, this is such an irresponsible activity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not appreciate

precious life. Those who
are drunk
cannot access or react
quickly
to any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation

that
suddenly
arises on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
conditions and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Obviously
, all

of us can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
what the outcome can be. One car crash with another one
as well
as the

drivers may
simply
lose their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
in a blink of an eye.

In this case
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to play. Since drunk drivers

are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to themselves and to other road-users,
therefore
they should
be punished
. One way to do this is through law enforcement. The authorities may fine them

heavily
and give them mandatory jail sentences. The fine may become a burden for

Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they dare not break the law when driving on the roads.

Once again,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
intervention is necessary
in this case
. Another way that

can
be carried
out by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
would be to suspend their licenses for a certain

period. Driving is an essential activity for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, such a punishment is

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful in making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let


their licenses
be suspended
for such a long time.

In short, it is
absolutely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to drink alcohol and then drive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,

they themselves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
hold the responsibility by receiving the punishment according to

the law.
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IELTS essay What rigTopic: Drunk Driving Question: Do you think that it is wrong for people to drink alcohol and then drive? Do you think they should be punished?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
380 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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