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New generation largely following the celebrities and it puts the large impact in them. So many people thinks that there should be a limit on what they do or not but others said that it should not be . Dp you agree or disagree.

New generation largely following the celebrities and it puts the large impact in them. So many people thinks that there should be a limit on what they do or not but others said that it should not be. Dp you agree or disagree. VlKGK
It is argued that there should be restrictions on what celebrities advertise, or on how they behave because of their influence on young people. I only partly agree with this statement due to some reasons. Undeniably, celebrities have a lot of influence, so the brands pay them large sums of money to promote their products. So that their sales can increase. Companies know that young people want to copy famous movie stars or sports person. However, these businesses do not always offer healthy choices. As a result, famous people sometimes promote unhealthy habits, such as liquor consumption and smoking. These cast adverse effects on young ones. As a। society, we need good role models, and if celebrities are prohibited from advertising the products which can have negative impacts on youth, they will automatically be forced to make better choices. Nevertheless, the proposal of restricting celebrities may go way to far. While famous people should act responsibly when they are in the public eye, they should also have freedom to make their own decisions. Furthermore, if we believe that youngsters will imitate everything whatever is shown. In advertisements, even if it is unwise to do so, then there is a different problem; the need for young people to learn how to make right choices. Therefore, rather than asking celebrities to change their life style. Young people should be taught to choose good role models and responsible for their life choices. To conclude, although famous stars should act in responsible manner, they should be allowed to advertise whatever they want. It is far more important to teach young ones to be better judge for themselves.
It
is argued
that there should be restrictions on what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
advertise, or on how they behave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
Undeniably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
influence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the brands pay them large sums of money to promote their products.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
their sales can increase.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to copy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
movie stars or sports person.
However
, these businesses do not always offer healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
promote unhealthy habits, such as liquor consumption and smoking. These cast adverse effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. As
Possible spelling mistake found.
a।
society, we need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
role models, and if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are prohibited
from advertising the products which can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on youth, they will
automatically
be forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
.
Nevertheless
, the proposal of restricting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
may go way to far. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should act
responsibly
when they are in the public eye, they should
also
have freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions.
Furthermore
, if we believe that youngsters will imitate everything whatever
is shown
. In advertisements, even if it is unwise to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, then there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
problem; the need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
.
Therefore
,
rather
than asking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
style.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be taught
to choose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
role models and responsible for their life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
.
To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
stars should act in responsible manner, they should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to advertise whatever they want. It is far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
to be better judge for themselves.
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IELTS essay New generation largely following the celebrities and it puts the large impact in them. So many people thinks that there should be a limit on what they do or not but others said that it should not be. Dp you agree or disagree.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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