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One of the most important issues facing the world today is a shortage of food and some think genetically modified foods are a possible solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are those who maintain the idea that genetically modified foods are a viable key to eliminate the inevitable problem of a scarcity of provision challenging humanity these days. From my perspective, I strongly believe that genetically modified foods would be the paramount solution because by changing genes and creating new pairs of chromosomes not only would scientists ( or people/population? ) safe corps, but they would also be able to form innovative types of existing products. First of all, by modifying the DNA structure, scientists could provide the population with the eminent opportunity of saving corps despite the detrimental weather conditions, be it a pouring rain or a long-lasting drought. For instance, the recent study conducted by researchers in China had shed light on the genes which are responsible for natural rice resilience to harmful impacts of a harsh climate. Therefore, by transforming the DNA chain of rice the scientists were able to create a new sort of rice which would prolifically grow in a long-lasting monsoon season. As a result, the corps of rice would be augmented which would reduce the scarcity of food in the long run. Another point to be taken into consideration is that the vast majority of current agricultural fields are not able to cover the needs of endlessly increasing human population in the world. However, by using the advantages of genetically modified foods researchers could create modern sorts of high-yielding products without expansion of farming plantations. Consequently, people would be able to reap an unprecedented harvest in their indigenous territory. Just to exemplify, in Venezuela in 2015 the genetic engineers changed the DNA chain of a corncob by adjoining the extra pair of female chromosomes which boosted the harvest of corn by 20 per cent. In conclusion, I am enormously convinced that due to commencing the usage of genetically modified foods, a vital obstacle of world hunger in mankind would be eradicated.
There are those who maintain the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are a viable key to eliminate the inevitable problem of a scarcity of provision challenging humanity these days. From my perspective, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
would be the paramount solution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by changing genes and creating new pairs of chromosomes not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
would scientists
Don’t put a space after the opening parenthesis.
(
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
/population?
Don’t put a space before the closing parenthesis.
)
safe corps,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they would
also
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to form innovative types of existing products.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, by modifying the DNA structure, scientists could provide the population with the eminent opportunity of saving corps despite the detrimental weather conditions, be it a pouring rain or a long-lasting drought.
For instance
, the recent study conducted by researchers in China had shed light on the genes which are responsible for natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rice
resilience to harmful impacts of a harsh climate.
Therefore
, by transforming the DNA chain of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rice
the scientists were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to create a new sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rice
which would
prolifically
grow in a long-lasting monsoon season.
As a result
, the corps of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rice
would
be augmented
which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the long run.

Another point to
be taken
into consideration is that the vast majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
agricultural fields are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to cover the needs of
endlessly
increasing human population in the world.
However
, by using the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
researchers could create modern sorts of high-yielding products without expansion of farming plantations.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to reap an unprecedented harvest in their indigenous territory.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
to exemplify, in Venezuela in 2015 the genetic engineers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the DNA chain of a corncob by adjoining the extra pair of female chromosomes which boosted the harvest of corn by 20 per cent.

In conclusion
, I am
enormously
convinced that due to
The verb after “to” should be in the base form: “commence”.
commencing
the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, a vital obstacle of world hunger in mankind would
be eradicated
.
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IELTS essay One of the most important issues facing the world today is a shortage of food and some think genetically modified foods are a possible solution.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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