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One of the consequences oof medical research is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and for society as a whole? Suggest some solutions.

One of the consequences oof medical research is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and for society as a whole? Suggest some solutions. PLKYX
Many countries have been researching and finding new innovative ideas to increase life expectancy. In this essay, I would like to discuss this issue and problems associating with it s well as some solutions will be provided. Some feel that increasing longevity will be beneficial for society as they will be able to avoid death as much as possible. As there is an axiom and belief that if anything used without proper cure will have adverse effects and can be disastrous. Similarly, increasing life expectancy will be harmful for humankind for their mental as well as physical health. Firstly, everyone eventually loses the happiness of living life and enjoying it after a certain point. Resulting in losing respect for what they have. Secondly, it can be catastrophic for someone who is financially weak and will have to suffer for life. By increasing life, there will be more elderly people in society, and younger will lose respectful behavior towards them. A number of people might have a medical condition and it will be hard for them to put up with society, eventually will become insufferable. Thirdly, many couples will have to take care of four to five elderly people while keeping up with their job. They will find it hard. On the basis of the above reasoning, comprehensive solutions have been identified. The first solution is, accept the life span we have do not extend it artificially. Second, the government shouldn't waste funds on research instead they should allocate funds for the poor who are fighting for just a small amount of food. There should be aware of the harmful effects of increasing life expectancy. More campaigns should be arranged. To sum up, varied problems, as well as solutions, have been given. Thus I firmly believe that proper steps should be given and have faith in our destiny, Everything happens for reason including our time of death. So not to try to change it and accept it as it originally.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries have been researching and finding new innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy. In this essay, I would like to discuss this issue and problems associating with it s well as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
will
be provided
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
longevity will be beneficial for society as they will be able to avoid death as much as possible. As there is an axiom and belief that if anything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
without proper cure will have adverse effects and can be disastrous.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy will be harmful for humankind for their mental
as well
as physical health.
Firstly
, everyone
eventually
loses the happiness of living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and enjoying it after a certain point. Resulting in losing respect for what they have.
Secondly
, it can be catastrophic for someone who is
financially
weak and will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, there will be more elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in society, and younger will lose respectful behavior towards them. A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might have a medical condition and it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to put up with society,
eventually
will become insufferable.
Thirdly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
couples will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of four to five elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
while keeping up with their job. They will find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.

On the basis of the above reasoning, comprehensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
have
been identified
. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
is, accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span we have
Use past participle here: "done".
do
not extend it
artificially
. Second, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
shouldn't waste funds on research
instead
they should allocate funds for the poor who are fighting for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of food. There should be aware of the harmful effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy. More campaigns should
be arranged
.

To sum up, varied problems,
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
, have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
I
firmly
believe that proper steps should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
and have faith in our destiny, Everything happens for reason including our time of death.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
not to try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
it and accept it as it
originally
.
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IELTS essay One of the consequences oof medical research is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and for society as a whole? Suggest some solutions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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