Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? JnDE
Nowadays we are seeing lot of changes in our day to day life beacuse of the technology. Not only technological aspects also in medication and providing better medicines for people succumbed with health. Because of this medical care the life span of people is increasing. Though, there are some disadvantages, this essay will discuss that merits are more than demerits. Let's begin with the advantages of improved medicines to live longer. Firstly, the older people are strong pillars of their society. That means in any family oldage persons have lot of experiences and they teach their family members to get into good path. Moreover, they also take care of their grand children. For instance, after the child birth many parents go back to their job by leaving their babies with their grandparents. Secondly, many narrow minded people think that after retirement old people are burden to society however, if they are in good health conditions they do some jobs like social services. For example, one of my freinds grandfather took a retirement from police job and now he is doing social services. Hence best medical care for old people benifits alot. The improved medical care may be disadvantageous for some oldage people who drained out mentally. In other words many people don't take care of oldage persons and completley ignore them. Thus, oldage persons thought that they become burden to their families and become mentally weak. For better understanding, physical living is not important when they are mentally low. Although there are many oldage homes to such people. In conclusion, i believe that improved medical care is having lots of advantages to old people to guide society though there are some disadvantages.
Nowadays we are seeing
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life
Possible spelling mistake found.
beacuse
of the technology. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
technological aspects
also
in medication and providing better medicines for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
succumbed with health.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
the life span of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is increasing. Though, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, this essay will discuss that merits are more than demerits.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the advantages of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
medicines to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer.
Firstly
, the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are strong pillars of their society. That means in any family
Possible spelling mistake found.
oldage
persons have
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experiences and
they teach their family members to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
path.
Moreover
, they
also
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their grand children.
For instance
, after the child birth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents go back to their job by leaving their babies with their grandparents.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
narrow minded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that after retirement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are burden to society
however
, if they are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health conditions they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs like social services.
For example
, one of my
Possible spelling mistake found.
freinds
grandfather took a retirement from police job and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he is doing social services.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
may be disadvantageous for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
oldage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who drained out mentally.
In other words
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
oldage
persons and
Possible spelling mistake found.
completley
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
them.
Thus
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
oldage
persons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that they become burden to their families and become mentally weak. For better understanding, physical living is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
when they are mentally low.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
oldage
homes to such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is having lots of advantages to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to guide society though there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?