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one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. do you think the advantage of this development outweigh the disadvantages.

"an apple a day, keeps the doctor away"We all have heard this quote on a daily basis but have never gone to the depth of the fact behind this. So in general this means eat healthy, have good habits, be fit and our immune system will be good. Now a days many development have been made in medical care because of which people love longer and life expectancy is increasing. The subsequent paragraph elaborates more on the view with an appropriate illustration. Now a days medical care have become a major part in everyones life. Hospitals have more equipments and more technologies so that the doctors can help the patients in a proper way. Doctors have more knowledge of medicines and how to treat. The improvement in medical care has a positive side but also it consists of some disadvantages. For instance, some of the equipments carry radiations which can be dangerous after a certain period of time. If the doctor makes some mistake or the patient is not steady and calm the tests can go wrong. Improved medical care expects an individual to be patient and have faith in what the doctors are doing. Meanwhile the doctors have to make the person understand the improvement and development. According to me there are disadvantages of improved medical care but it can be neglected because this improved medical care has given many people life and benefits everyone.
Use a smart opening quote here.
"
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
an
apple a day,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
away
Use a smart closing quote here.
"
We all have heard this quote on a daily basis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have never gone to the depth of the fact behind this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in general
The verb ‘eat’ is plural. Did you mean: “this means eats”? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this means eat
healthy, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits,
be fit
and our immune system will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
Did you mean “nowadays”?
Now a days
Possible agreement error. The noun development seems to be countable; consider using: “many developments”.
many development
have
been made
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
longer and life expectancy is increasing. The subsequent paragraph elaborates more on the view with an appropriate illustration.
Did you mean “nowadays”?
Now a days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
have become a major part in
It seems that a possessive apostrophe is missing or the word is misspelled.
everyones
life. Hospitals have more equipments and more technologies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the patients
Consider replacing this phrase with the adverb “properly” to avoid wordiness.
in a proper way
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Doctors
have more knowledge of medicines and how to treat. The improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it consists of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
For instance
,
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
some of the
equipments carry radiations which can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
after a certain period of time. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mistake or the patient is not steady and calm the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
can go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
an individual to be patient and have faith in what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
are doing.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the person understand the improvement and development.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using “in my opinion” or “I think”.
According to me
there are disadvantages of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
be neglected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
life and benefits everyone.
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IELTS essay one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. do you think the advantage of this development outweigh the disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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