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People attend college or university for many defferent reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university?

It is common believe that the education gives a lot of benifites. Such us new level of understanding the subject or for job goals. Overall, It is hardly did find some disadvantages in it. In my essay I am going to look at this question in two points of view. Firstly, I think people pay attention to education because they want to increase knowledge. Nowadays, everything change with dramatic speed. If people do not study they will not have an opportunity to understend what hapening in the world. For example, when I was a student in some financial university. I resived not only the financial knowledge but also I got a really good skile. I knew how I should learn. Secondly, lots of people go to the college or university because they want to get a job which require some suitable knowledge. For example some of them want to be a doctor or work in a low area that is why they need to know some uncommon subjects. In my occasion I was want to be a investment analyst. I was work hard on my subjects such as accounting, assets valuation etc. As a result I got my dream work and was on a nine cloud. To conclude from the argument and examples given I firmly believe that attend to education is a good way. Whenever you go to university for job target or improve you skils. The fact that we do it gives us more than we can think. I wish the people all over the world would have an opportunity to have a good education.
It is common believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifites
. Such us new level of understanding the subject or for job goals.
Overall
, It is hardly did find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages in it. In my essay I am going to look at this question in two points of view.

Firstly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to increase knowledge. Nowadays, everything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
with dramatic speed.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not study they will not have an opportunity to
Possible spelling mistake found.
understend
what
Possible spelling mistake found.
hapening
in the world.
For example
, when I was a student in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
financial university. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
resived
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the financial knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
skile
. I knew how I should learn.

Secondly
, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to the college or university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job which require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suitable knowledge.
For example
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be a doctor or work in a low area
that is
why they need to know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
uncommon subjects. In my occasion I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
investment analyst. I was work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
on my subjects such as accounting, assets valuation etc.
As a result
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
my dream work and was on a nine cloud.

To conclude
from the argument and examples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
I
firmly
believe that attend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way. Whenever you go to university for job target or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
you
Possible spelling mistake found.
skils
. The fact that we do it gives us more than we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
.

I wish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world would have an opportunity to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
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IELTS essay People attend college or university for many defferent reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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