Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

International entertainers, including sports personalities, often get paid millions of dollars in one year. In your view, with widespread pverty in the world, are these huge earnings justified?

The salaries of many singers, dancers and sports people have increased out of all proportion in recent years, while in places like Sudan people are starving to death. I do not beleive that anyone should be able to earn such enormous salaries whan so many people in the world are living in poverty. One af the factors which should affect what a person can earn ought to be the benefit of person's work to society. It is unreasonable for a famous singer to be able to earn far more from an evening's entertainment than, for instance, a medical scientist who develops a new drug which produces a treatment for a common disease. The pop star certainly has a value in society, but the value in no way exceeds, or even matches, the value gained from a successful medication. Secondly. work done should be paid according to the amount of effort and skill that goes into it. Nobody would deny that a famous person works hard and is skillful, yet such people do not work any harder than thousand of other workers who have no claim to fame. Yet market force are such that these superstarts can obtain millions of dolor while other unknown people sometimes earn less than they need to survive. Finally, it should be possible for governments to work together to ensure that the amount of money in circulation should be more more equally and fairly distributed. This seems only fair given that there are so many suffering. To conclude, it is clear that world poverty is a serious problem and yet the problem could be eased if governments and compenies gave more thought to paying salaries on a more equitable basis and if they started to contribute more money to those in need.
The salaries of
many
singers, dancers and sports
people
have increased out of all proportion in recent years, while in places like Sudan
people
are starving to death. I do not
beleive
that anyone should be able to
earn
such enormous salaries
whan
so
many
people
in the world are living in poverty.

One
af
the factors which should affect what a person can
earn
ought to be the benefit of person's
work
to society. It is unreasonable for a
famous
singer to be able to
earn
far more from an evening's entertainment than,
for instance
, a medical scientist who develops a new drug which produces a treatment for a common disease. The pop star
certainly
has a value in society,
but
the value in no way exceeds, or even matches, the value gained from a successful medication.

Secondly
.
work
done should
be paid
according to the amount of effort and
skill
that goes into it. Nobody would deny that a
famous
person works
hard
and is skillful,
yet
such
people
do not
work
any harder than
thousand
of other workers who have no claim to fame.
Yet
market force are such that these
superstarts
can obtain millions of dolor while other unknown
people
sometimes
earn
less than they need to survive.

Finally
, it should be possible for
governments
to
work
together to ensure that the amount of money in circulation should be
more more
equally
and
fairly
distributed. This seems
only
fair
given
that there are
so
many
suffering.

To conclude
, it is
clear
that world poverty is a serious problem and
yet
the problem could be
eased
if
governments
and
compenies
gave more
thought
to paying salaries on a more equitable basis and if they
started
to contribute more money to those in need.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay International entertainers, including sports personalities, often get paid millions of dollars in one year. In your view, with widespread pverty in the world, are these huge earnings justified?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts