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Smokers can cause themselves serious health problems. The choice to smoke is made freely and with knowledge of dangers. Smokers should therefore expect to pay more for medical treatment than non-smokers.

Nowadays, smoking is huge problem in society. It brings to smokers a lot of problem such as health problems. It also takes more money to insuriens than non-smokers. However, I am not 100% sure, that smokers have to pay more money to medical treatment. In this essay, I am going to look at this problem on two views. First of all, I am agree with that smoking is the bad habit. Certanly, this action realy impact on healt, life style etc. And as a result, smokers have truble with a health more than non-smokers. Smoking effects not only on the breath system, but also on the heart system, brain, blood etc. So, when smokers have any desyses, it brings over problem than non-smokers. That is why, insuriens for smoker to costs more. But on the other hand, we should admit the fact, that a lot of people have different bad habits. Some people use too much alchohol, some people use some light drugs. Other people eat too much, and it depends on their heart not less than smoking. Lots of people also drink too much coffee everyday it also brings problem. But as far as I know, in medical area we do not have any specific medical treatment to this people. And this is the point, insuriens company look at only one type of people who have the bad habit. To sum up this facts, I have to say, that the insuriens companies have to change their rules. One way is make different costs for people which different bad habits, for example one cost for smoker, one for coffee likers etc. Or they have to make one price to all types of people.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is huge
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problem
in society. It brings to smokers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
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problem
such as health
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problems
. It
also
takes more money to
Possible spelling mistake found.
insuriens
than non-smokers.
However
, I am not 100% sure, that smokers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more money to medical treatment. In this essay, I am going to look at this
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problem
on two views.

Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
, I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that
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smoking
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habit.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Certanly
, this action
Possible spelling mistake found.
realy
impact on
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healt
,
This noun is normally spelled as one word.
life style
etc. And
as a result
, smokers have
Possible spelling mistake found.
truble
with a health more than non-smokers.
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Smoking
effects not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the breath system,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on the heart system, brain, blood etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, when smokers have any
Possible spelling mistake found.
desyses
, it brings over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
than non-smokers.
That is
why,
Possible spelling mistake found.
insuriens
for smoker to costs more.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on the other hand
, we should admit the fact, that
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a lot of
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people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
too much
Possible spelling mistake found.
alchohol
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light drugs. Other
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people
eat too much, and it depends on their heart not less than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. Lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
drink too much coffee everyday it
also
brings
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problem
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as far as I know, in medical area we do not have any specific medical treatment to this
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people
. And this is the point,
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insuriens
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company
look at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one type of
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people
who have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habit.

To sum up
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘facts’. Did you mean “these”?
this
facts, I
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have to
say, that the
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insuriens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
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have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. One way is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
costs for
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people
which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
habits,
for example
one cost for smoker, one for coffee
Possible spelling mistake found.
likers
etc. Or they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one price to all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Smokers can cause themselves serious health problems. The choice to smoke is made freely and with knowledge of dangers. Smokers should therefore expect to pay more for medical treatment than non-smokers.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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