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One of the biggest threats to businesses after the coronavirus pandemic is bankruptcy. What is the main cause? What can business owners and governments do to stop this from happening?

One of the biggest threats to businesses after the coronavirus pandemic is bankruptcy. What is the main cause? What can business owners and governments do to stop this from happening? alaAG
There is no doubt about many negative influences after Covid 19 period in the world, and the top priority we must concern about is bankruptcy. The virus is the main reason that forced the public to have to face this problem. Thus, the governments give individuals permission to come back to their work as well as a businessmen should borrow money from a bank to restore the finance during this period. The spread of the pandemic is the foremost problem that caused an unstable economy. Coming from China, the disease spread rapidly around the world which made people hide in their houses. Until the first vaccine was made up, humans had to against the virus by limiting hanging out, joining in sociable activities with the exception of buying food or medicine. This lead to the decrease in finance of every company, making more workers dismissed or reduced their salaries. Take a look at Johnny Dang & CO, the biggest company for trading jewelry had to fire a part of their staff to maintain the economy during the pandemic and even after that. A way of tackling the issue of companies’ bankruptcy is that governments permit forks to work after being at home for a long time, whilst the boss of each company might accept the loan of the bank to maintain them. About the state apparatus, there is no more decrease of the finance when individuals come back, promoting their companies increasing. Besides that, people who owned the companies lend money to pay the wage of employees or replace pieces of equipment for a long time no use. As a result, the economy will rise steadily until erasing bankruptcy. Therefore, bankruptcy is the outcome of the disease which spread in last 2019. However, permitting individuals to work by governments and borrowing money from the bank by business owners are seen as feasible solutions to prevent bankruptcy.
There is no doubt about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences after
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid 19
period in the world, and the top priority we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
concern about is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bankruptcy
. The virus is the main reason that forced the public to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face this problem.
Thus
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
give individuals permission to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to their work
as well
as
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a businessman" or simply "businessmen"?
a businessmen
should borrow money from a bank to restore the finance during this period.

The spread of the pandemic is the foremost problem that caused an unstable economy. Coming from China, the disease spread
rapidly
around the world which made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. Until the
first
vaccine
was made
up, humans had to against the virus by limiting hanging out, joining in sociable activities
Consider using "except" or "except for"
with the exception of
buying food or medicine. This lead to the decrease in finance of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, making more workers dismissed or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
their salaries. Take a look at Johnny Dang & CO, the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
for trading jewelry had to fire a part of their staff to maintain the economy during the pandemic and even after that.

A way of tackling the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bankruptcy
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
permit forks to work after being at home for a long time, whilst the boss of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
might accept the loan of the bank to maintain them. About the state apparatus, there is no more decrease of the finance when individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back, promoting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
increasing.
Besides
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
lend money to pay the wage of employees or replace pieces of equipment for a long time no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
As a result
, the economy will rise
steadily
until erasing bankruptcy.

Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bankruptcy
is the outcome of the disease which spread in last 2019.
However
, permitting individuals to work by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and borrowing money from the bank by business owners are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as feasible solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bankruptcy
.
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IELTS essay One of the biggest threats to businesses after the coronavirus pandemic is bankruptcy. What is the main cause? What can business owners and governments do to stop this from happening?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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