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One of the biggest motivators for people at work is to gain a promotion. Why do you think people are so motivated to attain promotion and what other factors increase worker motivation?

One of the biggest motivators for people at work is to gain a promotion. Why do you think people are so motivated to attain promotion and what other factors increase worker motivation? aQpgG
It is undoubtedly that there are many causes to people work at a corporation. One of the most indispensible factor is the promotional careers. There are reasons why workers desire to gain the promotion and various solutions to boost employee motivation. There are a variety of different reasons that have led to a worker obtaining a promotion. One of the major causes can be a sense of respectation. When employees gain their progressive careers, they will get much respectation from colleagues as well as their boss, which helps them make an attempt in their job. The second cause is that employees are promoted will have a better salary than those who do not have a promotion. This means that employees must make an effort to obtain a better position, which assists them to have a higher salary than others. Getting well-paid helps they have many opportunities to take care of their family well and pay the cost of living. In fact, nowadays, most companies in Vietnam pay the salary for labour on a position basis. Despite some obvious reasons described above, there are several measures that companies could take to solve the problems. Firstly, an effective solution would be to generate friendly working environment. This helps staff feel comfortable and more confident in their job. In fact, we will work productively in an environment where we get much supportive colleagues as well as our manager. The second measure would be for firms to build a routine of promotion obviously. This assists workers to set their goals exactly to get a higher position in their career. For example, at An Khang Pharmacy, they always build the key performance indicator and organize a professional exam to evaluate employees’ competence in the middle of the year. The most excellent staff will be promoted to the more important positions. In conclusion, by generating friendly working environment as well as building a routine of promotion clearly can help companies tackle o
It is
undoubtedly
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
work at a corporation. One of the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
indispensible
factor is the promotional careers. There are reasons why workers desire to gain the promotion and various solutions to boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
motivation.

There are a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons that have led to a worker obtaining a promotion. One of the major causes can be a sense of
Possible spelling mistake found.
respectation
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
gain their progressive careers, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
much
Possible spelling mistake found.
respectation
from colleagues as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as their boss, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an attempt in their job. The second cause is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are promoted
will have a better salary than those who do not have a promotion. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort to obtain a better position, which assists them to have a higher salary than others. Getting well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities to take care of their family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
and pay the cost of living. In fact, nowadays, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in Vietnam pay the salary for
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
on a position basis.

Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
above, there are several measures that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
could take to solve the problems.
Firstly
, an effective solution would be to generate friendly working environment. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
staff feel comfortable and more confident in their job. In fact, we will work
productively
in an environment where we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
much supportive colleagues as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as our manager. The second measure would be for firms to build a routine of promotion
obviously
. This assists workers to set their goals exactly to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a higher position in their career.
For example
, at An
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khang
Pharmacy, they always build the key performance indicator and organize a professional exam to evaluate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees’
competence in the middle of the year. The most excellent staff will
be promoted
to the more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
positions.

In conclusion
, by generating friendly working environment as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as building a routine of promotion
clearly
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
tackle o

IELTS essay One of the biggest motivators for people at work is to gain a promotion. Why do you think people are so motivated to attain promotion and what other factors increase worker motivation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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