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ONE game on a relatively old console

ONE game on a relatively old console 5L10V
Words are like toothpaste; they stick to people and are hard to put back into the tube. They are to be thoughtfully used. Once out of the container, it is hard to put the viscous substance back into the circular tube. No matter how much you scoop the paste off, there will always be residue sticking to another person that you cannot get back. Once it sticks, the memory can resurface back at any time, making it a potential source of regret. Birthdays are happy occasions, born of joy and celebration. However, there was one birthday where I gave myself said lesson on the realities of sticky words. This story begins around Late fall, in October of 2016. Like many kids back then, I would spend my time watching YouTube, sitting on a soft couch. I particularly liked watching people do walkthroughs of many console games. Notably, I like watching people playing the MegaMan X series. Of course, I did not just watch the gameplays just to only laze around and do nothing about it. I was incredibly determined to play Megaman X, so I did research. From the video description, I immediately know that the game runs on the PlayStation Portable, or PSP for short. Then, I checked a game store at my favorite mall to check if the game is in stock. It turns out that the game does not sell as discs anymore, but are now ported into the console itself for free. All of this was planned as more of a trophy showcasing my determination and hard work. I wanted to have the PSP hanging in room like a plaque showcasing my achievements. So, I just needed to save up enough pocket money for the console and I can play it with no regrets. My plan was set. I counted the total amount of money in my piggie bank and then subtracted it from the price goal. Then, I made my plan on the minimum amount I would save per day. I knew what I needed and what I had to do. However, there was one thing I did not account for in my plan at all: my subtlety. It was immediately obvious to my parents that I wanted the PSP very much, as almost every time I pass the game store at the mall, I would squish myself in front of the cold glass plane to take a good look to confirm that the console is still on sale. Keep in mind, this was around mid-October, only a couple weeks before my birthday. So, without me knowing, my parents know what they were going to get for my birthday present. My plan back then would have taken many months to garner enough cash for the game console, but in the end, it took only 4 weeks. When my birthday rolled around, I imagined them getting me at least like a big book that were about my interests like DC or Lego. I was surprised when I found the PSP that was plugged into a socket, charging up. I was overjoyed and grateful at them, but inside I felt a bit cheated. If I had been more careful with my words, I would not have wasted my parent’s money. Many people would argue that for their children, not a penny is counted as counted, but I felt like I did because I only wanted to play the PSP for only MegaMan X and it only. It was just ONE game on a relatively old console that were not getting any new games at all. So, on the day, internally, I promised myself to be more thoughtful and careful of the words poured out of my mouth, no different from the toothpaste lesson of the west. It is actually kind of funny. A lesson like you should be more careful with your words should be taught from parent to child, but there I was accidentally giving myself a life lesson. To save even the last bit of money, is my kind of life motto, to spare unnecessary expenses. So, it was that day that gave me a wider understanding of life.
Words are like toothpaste; they stick to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
into the tube. They are to be
thoughtfully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. Once out of the container, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to put the viscous substance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
into the circular tube. No matter how much you scoop the paste off, there will always be residue sticking to another person that you cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
. Once it sticks, the memory can resurface
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
at any time, making it a potential source of regret. Birthdays are happy occasions, born of joy and celebration.
However
, there was one birthday where I gave myself said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
on the realities of sticky words.

This story
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
Late fall, in
When specifying a month and year, 'of' is unnecessary: "October 2016".
October of 2016
. Like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
then, I would spend my time watching YouTube, sitting on a soft couch. I
particularly
liked watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do walkthroughs of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
console
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Notably
, I like watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
playing the
Possible spelling mistake found.
MegaMan
X series.
Of course
, I did not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
gameplays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
laze
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
and do nothing about it. I was
incredibly
determined to play
Possible spelling mistake found.
Megaman
X,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I did research. From the video description, I immediately know that the game runs on the PlayStation Portable, or PSP for short. Then, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
a game store at my favorite mall to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
if the game is in stock. It turns out that the game does not sell as discs anymore,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
ported into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
console
itself for free. All of this
was planned
as more of a trophy showcasing my determination and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. I wanted to have the PSP hanging in room like a plaque showcasing my achievements.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
needed to save up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
console
and I can play it with no regrets.

My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
was set
. I counted the total amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in my
Possible spelling mistake found.
piggie
bank and then subtracted it from the price goal. Then, I made my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
on the minimum amount I would save per day. I knew what I needed and what I had to do.
However
, there was one thing I did not account for in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
at all: my subtlety. It was immediately obvious to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
that I wanted the PSP
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much, as almost every time I pass the game store at the mall, I would squish myself in front of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
glass
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
to take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
look to confirm that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
console
is
still
on sale.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Keep
in mind, this was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
mid-October,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
a
Did you mean "couple of"? (In formal written English 'of' should follow 'couple'.)
couple
weeks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
my birthday.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, without me knowing, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
know what they were going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
for my birthday present.

My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
back
then would have taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
months to garner
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
cash for the game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
console
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, it took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
4 weeks. When my birthday rolled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
, I imagined them getting me at least like a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
book that were about my interests like DC or Lego. I
was surprised
when I found the PSP that
was plugged
into a socket, charging up. I
was overjoyed
and grateful at them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
inside I felt a bit cheated. If I had been more careful with my words, I would not have wasted my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would argue that for their children, not a penny
is counted
as counted,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I felt like I did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
wanted to play the PSP for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
Possible spelling mistake found.
MegaMan
X and it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
. It was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
ONE game on a
relatively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
console
that were not getting any new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
at all.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, on the day,
internally
, I promised myself to be more thoughtful and careful of the words poured out of my mouth, no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the toothpaste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
of the west.

It is actually kind of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
like you should be more careful with your words should
be taught
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
to child,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there I was
accidentally
giving myself a life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lesson
. To save even the last bit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, is my kind of life motto, to spare unnecessary expenses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it was that day that gave me a wider understanding of life.
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IELTS essay ONE game on a relatively old console

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
694 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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