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global natural resources are being depleted at an alarming rate by human’s activities

global natural resources are being depleted at an alarming rate by human’s activities p1QRa
It is true that global natural resources are being depleted at an alarming rate by human’s activities. There are a variety of the ways behind this phenomenon and several solutions should be adopted to tackle these problems by politicians and individuals. There are two primary threats to the environment in which humans are being exploited. Firstly, nowadays people are heavily reliant on natural resources to invest in economic fields, especially in transportation. Once citizens are wealthy, the demand for energy consumption increases dramatically such as gas for cars and electricity for homes and offices. Secondly, gas emissions from factories and exhaust fumes from vehicles lead to global warming which could devastate the planet. Some measures should be taken to mitigate these problems by the government. They could impose a higher tax on the use of natural resources to reduce the dependence on fossil fuels. By raising tax, people are affected directly, so they will take responsibility for using these resources. Another solution is that government could force companies to use renewable energy from solar, wind or water power as alternative energy source. These clean energies not only minimize human reliance on natural resources but also assist protect environment. Individuals could also make more effort to reduce air pollution. They must be made aware of the need to cut down on emissions from their cars, take public transport rather than driving, choose eco-friendly and less packaging products and recycle as much as possible. For instance, shoppers should use reusable bags or canvas bags in supermarkets as well as utilise any empty space for planting. From the simple and small actions of individuals such as consuming environmentally friendly materials and reusing, it will be impossible to fight climate change and safeguard our future. In conclusion, from what has been discussed above human’s activities are provoking an ecological crisis, therefore both national policy and individuals must play a crucial role in concerning the environment.
It is true that global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources are
being depleted
at an alarming rate by
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human activities"?
human’s activities
. There are a variety of the ways behind this phenomenon and several solutions should
be adopted
to tackle these problems by politicians and individuals.

There are two primary threats to the environment in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are
being exploited
.
Firstly
, nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
heavily
reliant on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources to invest in economic fields,
especially
in transportation. Once citizens are wealthy, the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption increases
dramatically
such as gas for cars and electricity for homes and offices.
Secondly
, gas emissions from factories and exhaust fumes from vehicles lead to global warming which could devastate the planet.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
measures should
be taken
to mitigate these problems by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. They could impose a higher tax on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the dependence on fossil fuels. By raising tax,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
directly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will take responsibility for using these resources. Another solution is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could force
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
from solar, wind or water power as alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
source. These clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energies
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
minimize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
reliance on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
assist protect environment.

Individuals could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
air pollution. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be made
aware of the need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down on emissions from their cars, take public transport
rather
than driving, choose eco-friendly and less packaging products and recycle as much as possible.
For instance
, shoppers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
reusable bags or canvas bags in supermarkets
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
any empty space for planting. From the simple and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
actions of individuals such as consuming
environmentally
friendly materials and reusing, it will be impossible to fight climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and safeguard our future.

In conclusion
, from what has
been discussed
above
Possible typo. Did you mean: "human activities"?
human’s activities
are provoking an ecological crisis,
therefore
both national policy and individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
play a crucial role in concerning the environment.
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Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay global natural resources are being depleted at an alarming rate by human’s activities

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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