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One author has claimed that during the age of social media, people should reduce their time on exposing personal life to public platforms.

One author has claimed that during the age of social media, people should reduce their time on exposing personal life to public platforms. 7LMo5
As technological advancements develop with a booming blast, social media applications on electronic devices have filled the daily life of much of the world population. These platforms on which the users post pictures and videos have presented the entire public a new image of how each individual’s life can be exposed and analysed. The author of this article, I’ve Quit Writing Personal Essay About Quitting Things: A Personal Essay, has argued in the passage with his own past that the presentation of one’s life and personal experiences on the public media should be reduced in order to cherish one’s true feelings and life of beloved figures. In this essay, the effectiveness of this composition will be discussed. Upon reading and annotating, the analysis has shown that the author is successful in its structural organization and choice of words, while improvements can be made to idea illustrations. These three aspects are interpreted in the following paragraphs. Firstly, the framework of this piece is clear and identifiable. In this article, the author has discussed a change from his past-self to his current-self due to the fact that he has quitted quitting things. He used to use this method to inspire him to write new personal essays which are to be posted on blogs for view. In the introduction paragraph, he has provided the information of the following, “They didn’t quit things as a fodder for an overlong essay that seventy-four people will read on Medium”(Tuck, 1). Several paragraphs afterwards, it can be identified in the passage that, “But now I’m done quitting things and writing about it”(Tuck, 2). These are clear indicators of the author changing his habits. Directly putting these sentences at the beginning of the entire article and one of the paragraphs has helped the readers and the audience to remain in the flow of the author’s ideas. In this case, the purpose of the author is met and reached, therefore, successfully conducted. Secondly, the diction style of this personal essay has a straightforward appeal to humor. When reading this story, the words which have been chosen are arranged in a rhythmic way so that the readers are consistently attracted to the article. After the author has claimed that the habit of quitting is quitted, he expresses his true feelings of freedom as he used to “lug around the ball and chain of [. . . ] life choices”(Tuck, 2). This metaphor utilizes the features of a chain to image out the author’s feelings being locked by words. The author also chooses to construct hyphenated compound words to summarize the situation. In the essay, the word “personal-essay-about-kicking-habits” has concluded the previous paragraphs which discusses the past of the author. This word has performed as the role to remind the readers of what they have read. Through this particular style of writing, the author is able to accomplish the goal of leading the audience to continue reading on. Thirdly, it is considered that some progress can be made on the illustrations of a main point. From an introductory paragraph, it is summarized that the author is appealing to the audience to reduce exposure of their own life. However, within this article, this topic has only appeared once, “Full disclosure: [. . . ] I missed the birth [. . . ] I am currently pitching a [. . . ] memoir”. Before this paragraph, it is easy for the reader to consider this composition as a pure personal sharing. This emphasis on the fact that the author has missed many important life events is effective to correspond with his hidden main argument. By repeatedly emphasizing and hinting on the topic the author wishes to discuss is more effective than just hoping the audience can reach a certain conclusion. However, the nature of this article, which is allowing readers to easily follow his sentence flows, dictates that this change is not a necessity but a recommendation. In conclusion, the persuasion of reducing life exposure to social media by the author is effective enough for the audience to follow, through clearly organizing the different parts within the composition and choosing the appropriate diction to attract continuity, but can be improved if the essence of this personal essay is to mainly focus on this argument.
As technological advancements develop with a booming blast, social media applications on electronic devices have filled the daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of much of the world population. These platforms on which the users post pictures and videos have presented the entire public a new image of how each individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can
be exposed
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
, I’ve Quit Writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Essay
About
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Quitting
Things: A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Essay
, has argued in the passage with his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
past that the presentation of one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
experiences on the public media should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in order to cherish one’s true feelings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of beloved figures. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
, the effectiveness of this composition will
be discussed
. Upon reading and annotating, the analysis has shown that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
is successful in its structural organization and choice of words, while improvements can
be made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
illustrations. These three aspects
are interpreted
in the following paragraphs.

Firstly
, the framework of this piece is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
and identifiable. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
has discussed a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from his past-self to his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
-self due to the fact that he has
Possible spelling mistake found.
quitted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quitting
things. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this method to inspire him to write new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essays
which are to
be posted
on blogs for view. In the introduction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paragraph
, he has provided the information of the following, “They didn’t quit things as a fodder for an overlong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
that seventy-four
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will read on Medium”(Tuck, 1). Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paragraphs
afterwards, it can
be identified
in the passage that, “
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I’m done
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quitting
things and writing about it”(Tuck, 2). These are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
indicators of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
changing his habits.
Directly
putting these sentences at the beginning of the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
and one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paragraphs
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the readers and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
to remain in the flow of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
In this case
, the purpose of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
is met
and reached,
therefore
,
successfully
conducted.

Secondly
, the diction style of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
has a straightforward appeal to humor. When reading this story, the words which have
been chosen
are arranged
Consider replacing "in a rhythmic way" with the adverb for "rhythmic"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a rhythmic way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the readers are
consistently
attracted to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
. After the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
has claimed that the habit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quitting
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
quitted
, he expresses his true feelings of freedom as he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to “lug around the ball and chain of [.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Loose punctuation mark.
]
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
choices”(Tuck, 2). This metaphor utilizes the features of a chain to image out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
feelings
being locked
by words. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
also
chooses to construct hyphenated compound words
to summarize
the situation. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
word
“personal-essay-about-kicking-habits” has concluded the previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paragraphs
which discusses the past of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
word
has performed as the role to remind the readers of what they have read. Through this particular style of writing, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
is able to accomplish the goal of leading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
to continue reading on.

Thirdly
, it
is considered
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
progress can
be made
on the illustrations of a main point. From an introductory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paragraph
, it
is summarized
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
is appealing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
exposure of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, within this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
, this topic has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
appeared once, “Full disclosure: [.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Loose punctuation mark.
]
I missed the birth [.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Loose punctuation mark.
]
I am
currently
pitching a [.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Loose punctuation mark.
]
memoir”.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paragraph
, it is easy for the reader to consider this composition as a pure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
sharing. This emphasis on the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
has missed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
is effective to correspond with his hidden main argument. By
repeatedly
emphasizing and hinting on the topic the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
wishes to discuss is more effective than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
hoping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
can reach a certain conclusion.
However
, the nature of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
article
, which is allowing readers to
easily
follow his sentence flows, dictates that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is not a necessity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a recommendation.

In conclusion
, the persuasion of reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
exposure to social media by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
is effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audience
to follow, through
clearly
organizing the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts within the composition and choosing the appropriate diction to attract continuity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
if the essence of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
is to
mainly
focus on this argument.
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IELTS essay One author has claimed that during the age of social media, people should reduce their time on exposing personal life to public platforms.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
711 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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