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ase products that are not actually needed and don't have the money to pay for it. There are various reason that have caused the

ase products that are not actually needed and don't have the money to pay for it. There are various reason that have caused the BgKXd
A group of individuals get into debt by purchase products that are not actually needed and don't have the money to pay for it. There are various reason that have caused the situation. The solution to this problem is discussed in this essay. Discussing the reason, the foremost one is that nowadays there are increase the use of social media apps Instagram, Facebook or Youtube etc. more of luxurious goods advertise are upload in this website most of company pick out of famous actress, actor, singer and cricketer for promoting his product. So individual attracted and purchase them by paid double money which are not necessary. However, the persons are paid higher money on secondary needs such as luxuries car, house and jewellery or gadgets. As a consequence of this types of lifestyle, many people are cause and a serious problem of dept. There are several things that people could solve the problem. There are a big responsibility of government that such types of worthless advertise that negative impact on children should be banned and allow only positive advertise. If the authority set any limit to buy anything for each and everyone on the basis on income so no one will think about position. For example if a person buy luxury car but is income is low according to government regulations so he did not buy. However whose income are not good they do not think to purchase luxury items. To conclude to recapitulate, having something unnecessary which cost a lot of high will bring mental pressure, since back of mind will always worry about paying off. All I can say is that, people should understand their financial condition before deciding to purchase things.
A group of individuals
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "gets"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'get' is not always incorrect.)
get
into debt by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
products that are not actually needed and don't have the money to pay for it. There are various reason that have caused the situation. The solution to this problem
is discussed
in this essay. Discussing the reason, the foremost one is that nowadays there are increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of social media apps Instagram, Facebook or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
etc. more of luxurious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
advertise are upload in this website most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
pick out of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
actress, actor, singer and cricketer for promoting his product.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
individual attracted and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
them by paid double money which are not necessary.
However
, the persons
are paid
higher money on secondary needs such as luxuries car,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
or gadgets. As a consequence of
Did you mean "these"?
this
types of lifestyle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are cause and a serious problem of dept.

There are several things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could solve the problem. There are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
responsibility of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
that such types of worthless advertise that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on children should
be banned
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
advertise. If the authority set any limit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything for each and
Did you mean "every one"?
everyone
on the basis on income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no one will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about position.
For example
if a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
luxury car
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
is income is low according to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
regulations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
whose income are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
luxury items.

To conclude
to recapitulate, having something unnecessary which cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
high will bring mental pressure, since back of mind will always worry about paying off. All I can say is that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should understand their financial condition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
things.
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IELTS essay ase products that are not actually needed and don't have the money to pay for it. There are various reason that have caused the

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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