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Once children enter school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social developments than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. v.1

Once children enter school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social developments than parents. with this statement? v. 1
Teachers possess more responsibility than parents for teaching academic subjects to school children and mentoring them forming friendships with others once they enter school. Nonetheless, I totally disagree with the idea and believe that parents remain to be the most significant adults who influence on their children in terms of intellectual and social developments as parents hold the authority to decide what to do for their children, and they are the closest adults whom children spend longer hours in general. Parents have a great influence on their children's academic activities. While parents should respect their children's own will, they are responsible for deciding what to do with their children's after school activities. For example, many parents make their offsprings go to cram schools to enhance their academic skills, and this is beyond the power of teachers. Whether children show an interest in studying or not, it is up to parents to choose what kind of activities their children should engage in after school in most cases. A family is the smallest unit of society where children learn important personal qualities such as respect and kindness on a daily basis. Although children learn a lot of these while interacting with teachers and classmates at school, I believe that parents have the greatest influence on social development as a foundation. In fact, children who have a background of familial issues tend to withdraw from classroom activities and show difficulties in interacting with others. This indicates that parents' attitude and behaviours at home influence their children's social development. In conclusion, although teachers can assist children in learning academic and social skills at school, I believe that parents own the greatest influence; therefore it is desirable for them to work together to maximise children's intellectual and social developments.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
possess more responsibility than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
subjects to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and mentoring them forming friendships with others once they enter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Nonetheless, I
totally
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
remain to be the most significant adults who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in terms of intellectual and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
developments as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
hold the authority to decide what to do for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, and they are the closest adults whom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend longer hours
in general
.

Parents have a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should respect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
will, they are responsible for deciding what to do with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
go to cram
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and this is beyond the power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. Whether
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children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
an interest in studying or not, it is up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to choose what kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should engage in after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in most cases
.

A family is the smallest unit of society where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
personal qualities such as respect and kindness on a daily basis. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
these while interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and classmates at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
development as a foundation. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have a background of familial issues tend to withdraw from classroom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
difficulties in interacting with others. This indicates that parents' attitude and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
at home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
development.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
;
therefore
it is desirable for them to work together to
Possible spelling mistake. 'maximise' is British English.
maximise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
intellectual and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
developments.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Once children enter school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social developments than parents. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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