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On the other hand, when we asked about the sources of monthly income, the results were as shown in Figure 2 below. We note that 60% of the residents work as freelancers, 7% receive assistance from relatives or friends, and 11% do not have any work. All this is due to the cumulative effects of the war for ten years, and the lack of recognition by countries of the liberated area, and thus the lack of investments Internal and external, residents' dependence on food aid, and lack of income make the residents of the area unable to build the camps' architectural growth, and waiting for humanitarian organizations to help restructure the existing shelters.

On the other hand, when we asked about the sources of monthly income, the results were as shown in Figure 2 below. We note that 60% of the residents work as freelancers, 7% receive assistance from relatives or friends, and 11% do not have any work. All this is due to the cumulative effects of the war for ten years, and the lack of recognition by countries of the liberated area, and thus the lack of investments Internal and external, residents' dependence on food aid, and lack of income make the residents of the area unable to build the camps' architectural growth, and waiting for humanitarian organizations to help restructure the existing shelters. MBw1a
On the other hand, when we asked about the sources of monthly income, the results were as shown in Figure 2 below. We note that 60% of the residents work as freelancers, 7% receive assistance from relatives or friends, and 11% do not have any work. All this is due to the cumulative effects of the war for ten years, and the lack of recognition by countries of the liberated area, and thus the lack of investments Internal and external, residents' dependence on food aid, and lack of income make the residents of the area unable to build the camps' architectural growth, and waiting for humanitarian organizations to help restructure the existing shelters.
On the other hand
, when we asked about the sources of monthly income, the results were as shown in Figure 2 below. We note that 60% of the residents work as freelancers, 7% receive assistance from relatives or friends, and 11% do not have any work. All this is due to the cumulative effects of the war for ten years, and the lack of recognition by countries of the liberated area, and
thus
the lack of investments Internal and external, residents' dependence on food aid, and lack of income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the residents of the area unable to build the camps' architectural growth, and waiting for humanitarian organizations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
restructure the existing shelters.

IELTS essay On the other hand, when we asked about the sources of monthly income, the results were as shown in Figure 2 below. We note that 60% of the residents work as freelancers, 7% receive assistance from relatives or friends, and 11% do not have any work. All this is due to the cumulative effects of the war for ten years, and the lack of recognition by countries of the liberated area, and thus the lack of investments Internal and external, residents' dependence on food aid, and lack of income make the residents of the area unable to build the camps' architectural growth, and waiting for humanitarian organizations to help restructure the existing shelters.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
113 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • On the other hand, when we asked about the sources of monthly income, the results were as shown in Figure 2 below. We note that 60% of the residents work as freelancers, 7% receive assistance from relatives or friends, and 11% do not have any work. All this is due to the cumulative effects of the war for ten years, and the lack of recognition by countries of the liberated area, and thus the lack of investments Internal and external, residents' dependence on food aid, and lack of income make the residents of the area unable to build the camps' architectural growth, and waiting for humanitarian organizations to help restructure the existing shelters.