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How far do you agree that social media is giving more harms than benefits

How far do you agree that social media is giving more harms than benefits 552mN
Over the last few years, social media has become very popular among the masses. Although there are many advantages of social media’s popularity, but its disadvantages outweighs advantages. I strongly agree with the latter argument. In this essay, I will illustrate my point of view with various examples. Firstly, social media is causing a lot of anxiety and depression which affects our both mental and physical health. Depression is a common disease which can be seen in the youngsters. For example, actresses post their pictures on instragram, facebooks, and twitter in which they have been wearing designers’ clothes. This causes frustration among the public. They desire to buy such clothes which most of them cannot afford. This leads them to depression. Moreover, actresses potrays on social media that how happy life they are living. As we all know life is not a bed of roses. Everyone faces ups and downs in life. The wat actresses potrays their life makes people envy that why we are the only one’s facing adversities of life. This creates a feeling of resentment among them. Secondly, social media wastes so much time, especially youngsters spend most of their time on social media rather than studying or working hard to make their future bright. In addition to this, they learn different crimes from there. As they have access to everything. For instance, they can easily learn tips and techniques of robbery from YouTube or by watching a movie. Excess of anything is bad. People have became addicted to internet which is disturbing their sleeping pattern along with many other adverse effects. In conclusion, although there are benefits of social media, but these advantages come at a high cost. In my opinion, the drawbacks of social media are far more than its positive effects.
Over the last few years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular among the masses. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media’s
popularity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its disadvantages outweighs advantages. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter argument. In this essay, I will illustrate my point of view with various examples.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
anxiety and depression which affects our both mental and physical health. Depression is a common disease which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the youngsters.
For example
, actresses post their pictures on
Possible spelling mistake found.
instragram
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebooks
, and twitter in which they have been wearing designers’ clothes. This causes frustration among the public. They desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
such clothes which most of them cannot afford. This leads them to depression.
Moreover
, actresses
Possible spelling mistake found.
potrays
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
that how happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
they are living.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we all know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is not a bed of roses. Everyone faces ups and downs in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
wat
actresses
Possible spelling mistake found.
potrays
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
envy that why we are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one’s facing adversities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This creates a feeling of resentment among them.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
wastes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much time,
especially
youngsters spend most of their time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
rather
than studying or working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their future bright.
In addition
to this, they learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
crimes from there.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
they have access to everything.
For instance
, they can
easily
learn tips and techniques of robbery from YouTube or by watching a movie. Excess of anything is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have became addicted to internet which is disturbing their sleeping pattern along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other adverse effects.
In conclusion
, although there are benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these advantages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
at a high cost. In my opinion, the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are far more than its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects.
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IELTS essay How far do you agree that social media is giving more harms than benefits

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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