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Addicts and drug addiction

Addicts and drug addiction j9Qyy
A strong and hasty mafia group was illegally buying and selling narcotics They think they have sympathized with the addicts by selling drugs And have soothed them But in principle they prompted humiliated the addicts It's like sprinkling salt on a scorch And intensify the tempest of their lives The Mafia group had caused thousands of people to become addicted, and addicts had made their lives dependent on their addiction.   They should have been encouraged and resume new life And be in harmony with it And refrain to use drugs.
A strong and hasty mafia group was
illegally
buying and selling narcotics They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they have sympathized with the addicts by selling drugs And have soothed them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in principle they prompted humiliated the addicts It's like sprinkling salt on a scorch And intensify the tempest of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
The Mafia group had caused thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to become addicted, and addicts had made their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
dependent on their addiction.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
They should have
been encouraged
and resume new life And be in harmony with it And refrain to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
drugs.

IELTS essay Addicts and drug addiction

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
91 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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