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Older-school children should learn a wide range of subjects and develop knowledge, or they should only learn a small number of subjects in detail. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Older-school children should learn a wide range of subjects and develop knowledge, or they should only learn a small number of subjects in detail. YLwlr
Education counts in future competition on the international arena, so schools around the world are intent on figuring out the most efficient way of improving students’ academic performance. Some people insist that students ought to focus on one subject while others believe that additional subjects are of necessity. This essay will examine both arguments. The reason why students should only learn one subject is that more efforts lead to maximized learning efficiency. Naturally, students can spend most of time and energy in probing into their majors and refer to more learning materials in relevant domains, thus spurring creative power. What is more, social activities should constitute the essential part of students’ education, so focusing on one particular field is a better choice to strike a balance between study and social practice. Of course, this practice is potentially harmful to students. Firstly, students’ horizon fails to be expanded if they only contact one subject, which would impede their further academic development in the future. Worse, limitation in one subject might deprive students of the chance to find what really interests them, leading to the consequence of lacking enthusiasm to make further research in their majors. For example, many graduates show indifference to their study, believing that their four-year college life is a waste of time. On the other hand, if the syllabus including a variety of courses, the disadvantages are inevitable. For one thing, it is difficult for students occupied by course study to allocate extra time to other necessary activities, such as club, or outside-campus internship. For another, too much burden would be created because students have to preview and review so many subjects to pass examinations. The benefits obtained, nevertheless, are more worthwhile. To begin with, knowledge in different disciplines helps students lay a solid foundation for future job-capacity since practical problem-solving ability has to be cultivated based on diverse knowledge. For example, relevant computer problems depend on language and mathematics expertise. Furthermore, in acquiring knowledge, students can know truly what they would devote the rest of their life to in their future academic life. In summary, although one particular subject teaching methodology has some benefits, a wide range of courses are vital to students ’ further development. As for me, students should expand their horizon, and absorb more knowledge.
Education counts in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
competition on the international arena,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
schools around the world are intent on figuring out the most efficient way of improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
academic performance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
insist that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ought to focus on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
while others believe that additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are of necessity. This essay will examine both arguments.

The reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is that more efforts lead to maximized learning efficiency.
Naturally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can spend
Consider using "most time" or "most of the time".
most of time
and energy in probing into their majors and refer to more learning materials in relevant domains,
thus
spurring creative power.
What is more
, social activities should constitute the essential part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
focusing on one particular field is a better choice to strike a balance between study and social practice. Of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
, this practice is
potentially
harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
horizon fails to
be expanded
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
contact one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, which would impede their
further
academic development in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. Worse, limitation in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
might deprive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of the chance to find what
really
interests them, leading to the consequence of lacking enthusiasm to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
further
research in their majors.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
graduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
indifference to their study, believing that their four-year college life is a waste of time.

On the other hand
, if the syllabus including a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, the disadvantages are inevitable. For one thing, it is difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
occupied by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
study to allocate extra time to other necessary activities, such as club, or outside-campus internship. For another, too much burden would
be created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
preview and review
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to pass examinations. The benefits obtained,
nevertheless
, are more worthwhile. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
disciplines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
lay a solid foundation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
job-capacity since practical problem-solving ability
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be cultivated
based on diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
For example
, relevant computer problems depend on language and mathematics expertise.
Furthermore
, in acquiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can know
truly
what they would devote the rest of their life to in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
academic life.

In summary, although one particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
teaching methodology has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits, a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are vital to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
’
further
development. As for me,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should expand their horizon, and absorb more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
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IELTS essay Older-school children should learn a wide range of subjects and develop knowledge, or they should only learn a small number of subjects in detail.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
381 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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