Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Older people are competing with the younger people for the employment. What are the issues faced by both the groups and suggest solutions for both the views.

Older people are competing with the younger people for the employment. What are the issues faced by both the groups and suggest solutions for both the views. G3Mym
In this modern era, latest technologies have been replacing the human power which used huge machines with unbearable noises and frequent health hazards. Older people need to compete with younger ones for the employment. In this essay, I will be discussing the consequences faced by both the groups and it's possible solutions. The older people will be more experienced in hand skill but the younger ones are introduced and familiar with the latest technologies and its operations. So the latter ones are fresh with their knowledge and can well demonstrate it in their workplace. For instance, the young generation have orientation to latest technologies and can operate it well when compared with older people. Therefore the experienced ones get knocked out by the youth. To a great extent government can limit the battle between these groups in terms of employment. This is by helping the youth to startup with their own business at first so that they can hold an experience towards the work they look forth. Likewise, to help the older ones by providing good pension plans and work from home facilities. Otherwise government can create job websites specific for both parties to avoid overlapping. This can decrease the havoc faced by the older ones and therefore they wont be jobless. As for the younger ones, searching for jobs will increase their communication skills and hands on skill by working in small sectors before getting hired by big firms. It is comprehensive from the above paragraphs that governments can help cope this situation properly. Moreover, if both older and younger people are employed there will be less crimes and more harmony in the country.
In this modern era,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technologies have been replacing the human power which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
huge machines with unbearable noises and frequent health hazards.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to compete with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
for the employment. In this essay, I will be discussing the consequences faced by both the groups and
Did you mean "its possible solutions"?
it's possible solutions
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be more experienced in hand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are introduced
and familiar with the latest technologies and its operations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the latter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are fresh with their knowledge and can well demonstrate it in their workplace.
For instance
, the young generation have orientation to
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
technologies and can operate it well when compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knocked out by the youth.

To a great extent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can limit the battle between these groups in terms of employment. This is by helping the youth to startup with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business at
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can hold an experience towards the work they look forth.
Likewise
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
by providing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
pension plans and work from home facilities.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can create job websites specific for both parties to avoid overlapping. This can decrease the havoc faced by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
and
therefore
they
Please make sure you mean 'wont' (a habit), not "won't"/"won’t" (short for 'will not')?
wont
be jobless. As for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, searching for jobs will increase their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and hands on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
by working in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
sectors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting hired by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
firms.

It is comprehensive from the above paragraphs that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
cope this situation
properly
.
Moreover
, if both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are employed
there will be
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun crimes is countable.
less
crimes and more harmony in the country.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Older people are competing with the younger people for the employment. What are the issues faced by both the groups and suggest solutions for both the views.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    Once a person become a criminal, he will always be a criminal. agree or disagree
    Some people are of the opinion that when someone is convicted of a certain crime, they will invariably be a perpetrator. In my opinion, it depends on individuals whether they change themselves or continue breaking the law. When it comes to people who keep committing crime, some of them are affected...
  • 5.5band
    Experiencing the development of the night-economy in several countries.
    Experiencing the development of the night-economy in several countries. In order to pave the way for the night time economy in VietNam developing, it is essential to study the reality and policies on developing night economic activities in some countries. At the forefront of nighttime economic deve...
  • 5band
    why the family important ?
    family plays a crucial role in one's life. personally speaking, my family is one off the treasures that I own. First, family is a place where you love me unconditionally. No matter what situation I am in, rich, poor, ugly or beautiful, they always respect and love me. Second, tobe willing to listen ...
  • 5band
    Write a paragraph (120-150 words) about your hometown/home city or the city you are living now
    Writing of the green hills in the North of Vietnam, everyone knows that the land is called Thai Nguyen, this is where I was born and raised. Here, people live by many different occupations: farming, growing tea, raising livestock and poultry. Beside, you don’t need to worry too much about food and l...
  • 5band
    Being a celebrity bring benifit or doubt
    In this contemporary era every one becomes a celebrity or well know sports person because this status gives you respect in the society. in my point of view being a well known person has own benefit and doubt. This will present certain facts and example to support my view point before coming to the a...
  • 5.5band
    Parents need to do more to protect children from cyberbullying.
    In this technological advanced world, a complex issue have been surfaced when the topic of parenting a child is debated. Some may conceive the notion that, parents play a pivotal role in shielding their adolescent from online harassment. If pondered, I bolster the above agrument to a larger entent. ...