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older friends vs new friends

older friends vs new friends PVX92
We need to communicate with people, specifically with our friends; therefore, one of the highly controversial issues among many people is staying with your older friends vs. making new friends. As far as I am concerned, in a state of ambivalence, I might learn toward to be with my older friends. Ostensibly, some people believe that we should find new friends, because we will obtain new experiences talking to them and improve our social appearance, however, I can declare the higher beneficiary of keeping our older friends. I will interpret my responce in the following essay. First, we need strong relationships to enjoy our life. In fact, when one makes new friend, the knowledge regarding that person lacks in many aspects; data such as the behaviour, family relationships, favourites, etc. can not be learned in brief time. Granted all of this little information contributes to the strength of a relation, but short relation cannot provide them. As an illustrative example, when I was in high school, one of my old friends had allergy to mango. My friend's new friend held a party for her birthday, serving a mango cake, not knowing about the possible-allergic reaction. Unfortunately, my friend ended-up at the hospital, and it was her worst birthday, ever. Definitely, my friend was not angry, given the explanation, but they never forget the incident. Therefore, to make strong relations, one needs much information about the friends, and information's obtainment associate to the period of time. Second, with a longer time to spend with a person, you share more memories. One cannot start talking about the shared childhood memories upon seeing a new person. Most of the time we talk about our memories with our friends; without such kind of memories, it would be hard to find a topic to make more memories. For example, some years ago, my sister invited her friend home to spend a night with her. That night they slept sooner than us, as they had nothing to talk about. So, to improve the relationship with someone one need to share memories and therefore spend much time with that person. Third, older friends tend to be more reliable. When we have problems, we prefer to consult with somebody known for a long time. This happens because we can rely on their honesty and help. For instance, when I have some academic problem and I need someone to consult, the first person I am thinking of is my oldest friend. Therefore, we need reliable friends, and most of the times they are our oldest friends. I am of the conviction that the older friend is better; because we make strong bonds, have many shared memories and rely on them the most, but it would not harm to make new friends. So, I mainly suggest keeping our old friends, while making new friends occasionally. The effect of my solution would be that we have the benefits of our older companions while gaining new experience, but if not possible, for the aforementioned reasons, I conclude that a longer relationship, with an older friend, is be a better choice.
We
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need
to communicate with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
specifically
with our
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friends
;
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therefore
, one of the
highly
controversial issues among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
staying with your
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older
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friends
vs. making
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new
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friends
. As far as I
am concerned
, in a state of ambivalence, I might learn toward to be with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
Ostensibly
,
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some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that we should find
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new
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friends
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we will obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiences talking to them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our social appearance,
however
, I can declare the higher beneficiary of keeping our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. I will interpret my
Possible spelling mistake found.
responce
in the following essay.

First
, we
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need
strong
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relationships
to enjoy our life. In fact, when one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
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friend
, the knowledge regarding that
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person
lacks in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects; data such as the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, family
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relationships
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourites' is British English.
favourites
, etc. can not
be learned
in brief
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Granted all of this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
information contributes to the strength of a relation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
short relation cannot provide them. As an illustrative example, when I was in high school, one of my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
had allergy to mango. My friend's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
held a party for her birthday, serving a mango cake, not knowing about the possible-allergic reaction. Unfortunately, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
ended-up at the hospital, and it was her worst birthday, ever. Definitely, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
was not angry,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the explanation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they never forget the incident.
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Therefore
, to
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make
strong relations, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
much information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, and information's obtainment associate to the period of time.

Second, with a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, you share more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memories
. One cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
talking about the shared childhood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memories
upon seeing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
we talk about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memories
with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
; without such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memories
, it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find a topic to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
memories
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
years ago, my sister invited her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
home to spend a night with her. That night they slept sooner than us, as they had nothing to talk about.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
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relationship
with someone one
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need
to share
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memories
and
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therefore
spend much
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time
with that person.

Third,
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older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
tend to be more reliable. When we have problems, we prefer to consult with somebody known for a long
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time
. This happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can rely on their honesty and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
For instance
, when I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
academic problem and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
someone to consult, the
first
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person
I am thinking of is my oldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, and most of the
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times
they are our oldest friends.

I am of the conviction that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
is better;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
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make
strong bonds, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
shared
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memories
and rely on them the most,
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but
it would not harm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
mainly
suggest keeping our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, while making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
occasionally
. The effect of my solution would be that we have the benefits of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
companions while gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if not possible, for the aforementioned reasons, I conclude that a longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
, with an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
, is
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
a better choice.
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IELTS essay older friends vs new friends

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
518 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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