Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Obesity is a serious problem in many rich countries discuss the ways to solve this problem

Obesity is a serious problem in many rich countries discuss the ways to solve this problem bDYe3
There is a trend of rising population in developed countries like the UK, USA, and Canada. The major solutions to solve this health issue is that engaging with adequate amount of physical exercises and have a nutritious diet. The best option would be modification of the dietary habits which people practicing to save time. Apart from the past, people have a habit of taking cuisines some hotels or restaurants other than homemade foods, because of heavy workload. For instance, the rate of the fast food consumers in the USA has been doubled within the past five years which means consumption of fresh vegetables fruits and cereals gradually decreased. These types of fast foods have a high chance of deposit lippard cholesterol and fatty acid in the human body that is extremely directed to increase the chance of high blood pressure and stroke. If mother would able to make homemade foods which is nutritious more people in society will be nutritionally healthy. Next, the most significant factor to avoid obesity is that performing daily exercises to keep the body physically fit. A considerable amount of adults in society engaging with sedentary lifestyle, with the development of modern technology and electronic appliances. 20 things directly affect o minimise the day to day activities that is true required to burn unwanted calories from human body. Therefore it is essential part of daily routine the performing exercises for few minutes. Through simple activities which may improve blood supply and cardiovascular function, the people can reach maximum physical fitness as well as mentally relaxation. To sum up, population in developed countries has a character of increasing of weight people. The most possible solutions are the changing food habits which may make people on healthy and daily practicing of adequate amount of physical activities.
There is a trend of rising population in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
like the UK, USA, and Canada. The major solutions to solve this health issue is that engaging with adequate amount of physical exercises and have a nutritious diet.

The best option would be modification of the dietary habits which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'practicing' is used with the gerund form: "practicing saving".
practicing to save
time. Apart from the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a habit of taking cuisines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hotels or restaurants other than homemade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of heavy workload.
For instance
, the rate of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumers in the USA has
been doubled
within the past five years which means consumption of fresh vegetables fruits and cereals
gradually
decreased. These types of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have a high chance of deposit
Possible spelling mistake found.
lippard
cholesterol and fatty acid in the human body
that is
extremely
directed to increase the chance of high blood pressure and stroke.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
mother
Did you mean "would be able"?
would able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
homemade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which is nutritious more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in society will be
nutritionally
healthy.

Next
, the most significant factor to avoid obesity is that performing daily exercises to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the body
physically
fit. A considerable amount of adults in society engaging with sedentary lifestyle, with the development of modern technology and electronic appliances. 20 things
directly
affect o
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
activities
that is
true required to burn unwanted calories from human body.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it is essential part of daily routine the performing exercises for few minutes. Through simple activities which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
blood supply and cardiovascular function, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can reach maximum physical fitness
as well
as mentally relaxation.

To sum up, population in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
has a character of increasing of weight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The most possible solutions are the changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
habits which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on healthy and daily practicing of adequate amount of physical activities.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Obesity is a serious problem in many rich countries discuss the ways to solve this problem

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    forest is a lung of earth
    I am unanimous about the depletion of the world forest leading to our biology and diversity death. Forests are considered as a machine purifying the air in the earth. They do photosynthesis to absorb carbon oxide and then take out oxide. It is a lung of earth. But due to the surging of urbanization ...
  • 5.5band
    Others say that personal development is a more important focus. What is your opinion
    In Vietnam, people always focus on the student's average grade after two terms of the school year but no one ask us which subject we are good at and there are a lot of cases that our parents force us to learn their chosen major, it causes the unemployment in our generation. But we can't deny obtaini...
  • 6band
    Do you think newspaper are relevant now?
    Reading newspaper every morning is a cultural norm here in India. And it is one of the best habits an individual can cater. But several people pine that there is no need of printed paper now. This essay discusses about this further. We live in the internet age where information is available on your...
  • 6band
    whether it it better for employers to hire younger staff rather than those who are older.
    Some people believe that due to the rapid changes occurring in modern work places, it is better to employ younger than older people. I do not believe that this is the case. One argument in support of younger employees is that older employees could be more set in their ways and potentially against an...
  • 5.5band
    Describe a thing that you bought and felt pleased about
    Overall, I particularly love to buy trending things such as mobile phone, clothes and so on. However, I would like to talk here about the most crucial thing that I purchased in five years ago, that was air pods. Actually, all of my classmates possessed airpods which they could listened the lecture e...
  • 5.5band
    Students who are studying for important school exams should stop lessons. Discuss
    There is a universally acknowledged fact that some parents comprehended that pupils stop sport while preparing for essential educational exams, however other care givers think this is bad effective choice. Thus, I will give both sides of this opinion in this essay. On the other hand of this opinion,...





Get more results for topic:
  • Obesity is a serious problem in many rich countries discuss the ways to solve this problem