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Numerous student every year take gap after finishing high school and before joining

Numerous student every year take gap after finishing high school and before joining gYgNg
Numerous student every year take gap after finishing high school and before joining the university, and they use this time for charitable work abroad in underdeveloped countries in Asia and Africa. There are many advantages and disadvantages of volunteer work. Such act of helping the underprivileged helps in developing empathy in the young blood. Moreover, having empathy develops understanding of pains and suffering that are in different parts of the world. Hence, it develops understanding of human needs and behaviour which is a valuable quality in future. For example top business schools on purpose give admission to such candidates who have some experience in social work. Essential reason which makes charitable work a win win deal for a student is that they get to meet new people and form a friend circle which is outside their peers from high school and a diverse friend circle value ads to their growth and they learn a lot during this phase of life Apart form a strong advantages that come with charitable work there is a disadvantage too that makes such work a dangerous task to accomplish. Many developing or underdeveloped countries have certain diseases which are widely spread throughout the country and is sometimes dangerous for outsiders since they do not know what precautions to take. For example many asian country have mosquito mennace and there are lot of people who get affected by the disease every year. In the end, I would like conclude by mentioning that like any thing or practice in the world charitable act do come with pros and cons of its own, but still everyone should do this act of kindness as this is what humanity needs and also these are the values that next generation should have.
Numerous student every year take gap after finishing high school and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
joining the university, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
abroad in underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in Asia and Africa. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages and disadvantages of volunteer work.

Such act of helping the underprivileged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in developing empathy in the young blood.
Moreover
, having empathy develops understanding of pains and suffering that are in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world.
Hence
, it develops understanding of human needs and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
which is a valuable quality
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
For example
top business schools on purpose give admission to such candidates who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experience in social work.

Essential reason which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
win win
deal for a student is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and form a friend circle which is outside their peers from high school and a diverse friend circle value ads to their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
growth and
they learn a lot during this phase of life

Possible typo. Did you mean "apart from"?
Apart form
a strong
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "advantage"?
advantages
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
there is a disadvantage
Did you mean "to that"?
too that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
task to accomplish.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
developing or underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have certain diseases which are
widely
spread throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for outsiders since they do not know what precautions to take.
For example
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have mosquito
Possible spelling mistake found.
mennace
and there are
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the disease every year.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, I would like conclude by mentioning that like
Did you mean "anything"?
any thing
or practice in the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charitable
act do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with pros and cons of its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
everyone should do this act of kindness as this is what humanity needs and
also
these are the values that
next
generation should have.
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IELTS essay Numerous student every year take gap after finishing high school and before joining

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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