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Nowadays youngsters want more freedom. But they pay less attention to old people . Do you agree or disagree??

Nowadays youngsters want more freedom. But they pay less attention to old people. ? OyPxp
Some people belive that Youth need more freedom these day compared to past decades and students has less attention towards old generation. This essay strongly agrees above mentioned statement. To begin with, there are plethora of ways parents provide freedom for their children. Firstly, parents give permission to their child to choose or select which major subject after passing grade 10. secondly they have an opportunity to share and discusses any matter with their parents. last but not least, children are addicted to vedio games or mobile which can not only leads to sedentary life style but also poor performance in accademic. For instance, most of the younger generation are more concentrated on screen while playing vedio games. It can cause health issues such as vision problem, weight gain due to lack of physical activities and not obeying the old generation words. However, there are some people claim that children want more freedom to study abroad as well as earn more money. Perhaps Which might leads their life in bad behaviour. For example, majority of children are drug addicted due to independent life around the globe. Eventhough if they gain more freedom later it would be dangerous which means after the age of 16 year, boys has tendency to learn driving license with the help of parents. afterward some prefer to drive fast which might be resulted in accidents. To sum up, I strongly believe that juvenile has more freedom all over the world. In my opinion, it is not a good idea to give more and more freedom to juvenile, later It would be harmful to the society and lots of adverse effect also.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that Youth need more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
Did you mean "this day" or "these days"?
these day
compared to past decades and students has less attention towards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation. This essay
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
above mentioned statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are plethora of ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
give permission to their child to choose or select which major subject after passing grade 10.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
they have an opportunity to share and discusses any matter with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are addicted
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
vedio
games or mobile which can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
leads to sedentary life style
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
poor performance in
Possible spelling mistake found.
accademic
.
For instance
, most of the younger generation are more concentrated on screen while playing
Possible spelling mistake found.
vedio
games. It can cause health issues such as vision problem, weight gain due to lack of physical activities and not obeying the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation words.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
want more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to study abroad
as well
as earn more money. Perhaps Which might leads their life in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
For example
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are drug addicted due to independent life around the globe.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
if they gain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
later it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
which means after the age of 16 year, boys has tendency to learn driving license with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
afterward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prefer to drive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
which might
be resulted
in accidents.

To sum up, I
strongly
believe that juvenile has more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
all over the world. In my opinion, it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to give more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to juvenile, later It would be harmful to the society and lots of adverse effect
also
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays youngsters want more freedom. But they pay less attention to old people. ?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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